01/28/2009 02:16 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

The Late Show Top Ten List as Written by a Van-Load of Illegal Immigrants Picked Up from Home Depot

Top Ten signs that your wife is cheating on you:
(By Juan Gonzalez)

  1. Instead of giving you the tacos, she gives you the crabs.
  2. Instead of the Telemundo she insists on watching "The Desperate Housewives."
  3. Bill Clinton just mysteriously issued her a green card
  4. The new baby is a towhead.
  5. In the heat of passion she calls you Gringo.
  6. When an INS agent raided the house, she told him you were under the bed.
  7. Delivery guys keep coming to the door, but they don't have any food.
  8. Your kids keep calling you "Original Poppy."
  9. Her brother Hector who lives in the guest room has a different last name.
  10. She seems a lot happier.