THE BLOG
11/06/2014 01:28 pm ET Updated Jan 06, 2015

Choosing China Patterns With Tim Cook

When I heard that Apple CEO Tim Cook came out, my first thought was, "Is he single?"

I'd like to set him up with my friend Sean. Tim's perfect. He's obviously brave; but look behind the silver fox. I see a man that can figure out gadgets. I have three remotes for one television. No clue what two of them do. I mostly watch Nickelodeon because I can't figure out how to change the channel. Tim probably lives in a smart house where he sets the thermostat with his mind.

Waiting in lines at Apple would end for me. No more trying to look worthy and attractive to the Geniuses. As of now, I have to go in the store, put my name on the list, and then circle the room like I'm in a nightclub. I try to look desirable. I make googley eyes at the check-in guy every chance I get, but I bet that's going better in my mind. The customers with twitches get called last.

I wonder if he can cook. He'd be the trifecta catch. Money, brains, the ability to measure. God our life would be perfect. I imagine us living in our smart house -- me, not tired from waiting in line at the Apple store all day, sitting down to a meal my bold man whipped up using an App he created.

Oh wait -- not me. I'm fixing up my friend. I think they'll be a good match. I don't know everything about anyone. Perhaps they both hate fennel. I used to, but I fell in love with someone who showed me to accept fennel. Maybe they'll both try to lead on the dance floor. Tim runs a billion dollar company; Sean has a great mind; they'll sort that out.

Mr. Cook made the world a better place. Sean makes my world better. He helped edit my new book. It's a memoir about my time in the Marine Corps, The Pink Marine. When I served, it was illegal for me to be openly gay in the military. Now that's passed.

Like marching in the Marines, moves like Mr. Cook's keep our society moving forward. We get one spin on this earth. Life's more fun when we live in the open. We see more.

This is one development everyone needn't stand in line for, but get behind. And guys, if you get married, register everywhere. It's our turn.