Smell it? Thanksgiving break is upon us. Millions of lovesick college students are preparing for a long awaited reunion with that special someone. Some will experience explosive romantic reunions that will make the distance well worth it. Others will be blindsided by the shock of breaksgiving, also know as The Turkey Drop.
If you're unfamiliar with the term Turkey Drop, it's the act of breaking up with a long distance sweetheart during Thanksgiving break. First year college students who have grown apart while on other campuses are the most common dropped and droppers.
"I chose to end it on Thanksgiving because he was over for dinner and announced that he didn't like my mother's cooking. I thought that was very disrespectful to say this at the table. He understood and apologized for his actions. I told him that it was already done and what he said could not be taken back," says Rachel a college senior.
Breaksgiving can also hit adults of all ages. Meeting family and childhood friends for the first time can make or break a couple.
"Jennifer and I were going to Ft. Lauderdale to meet my mom over the Thanksgiving holiday, plane tickets booked... and two days before the trip... I got a phone call... that's right a fuckin' phone call... breaking up with me. Still don't know why... closure is for suckers!" said 38-year-old Dave. He was dropped last year.
Sickening. Yes. While no one should have to endure such disappointment, it's a ritual that is steeped in tradition. To help those who will be dropped and those doing the dropping, I've put together a list of tips to help ease the blow of breaksgiving.
To those doing the dropping:
- NEVER drop at the Thanksgiving dinner table (especially if you're a guest in someone's home and plan to sleep there all weekend).
- Do your dropping face-to-face. Give your ex the courtesy of crying at you.
- Offer to pay for any tickets, costs, or penalties (small price to pay)
- No dropping and sleeping with your new man or woman the same night (yuck).
- No publicizing your breaksgiving drop online. No one will think you're cool.
- Don't ask to spend the rest of the weekend with your new ex as friends. You're not a friend. Yes, you suck at the moment.
- BE nice. You might want him or her back at some point.
- Call the police if you're attacked by a turkey leg.
- Telling the truth is always respectable and the best thing to do. You just might want to work on your timing.
- Upgrade in 2014. Make this the year of a better everything.
- Be thankful you'll be too busy crying to overeat this Thanksgiving.
- Tell the dropper you're returning all his holidays gifts. Be sure to make up extravagant and painfully thoughtful gifts (including sexual acts).
- Remind your dropper "BUT IT'S THANKSGIVING!" Repeat this again and again. It should sound like a chant by the time you're done.
- NO rebounding with your a-hole high school ex.
- Advertise the drop via your social networks. People are waiting to catch you.
- Create a hashtag #TurkeyDrop and share your breaksgiving brooding.
- The best payback is being happier (and way hotter) without your ex.
- Surround yourself with friends, family, and people who love you the most. You are still blessed.
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