03/28/2008 02:48 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Oil In Troubled Waters

Oil in troubled waters. Death to the polar bears?

The Cheney Regime is expected to ramp up its efforts to pillage American resources and the environment. And today they took a grand step in that direction. It was announced that on February 6, the Feds will offer up undersea oil exploration leases on an area almost as large as the state of Pennsylvania. This beneath the hitherto unheralded Chukchi Sea off northwest Alaska.

They expect to find rich oil and natural gas fields though no drilling is to be allowed within
fifty miles of the shoreline. Out of sight, and they hope, out of mind.

Needless to say there's opposition to these Chukchi leases from environmental groups. One of
the largest U.S. polar bear populations inhabits that region. This can only add to the bears'
survival problems. One critic of the plan pointed out nobody had any idea how to clean up an
oil spill
in a sea afloat with broken ice.

Expect a few lawsuits to follow.

Oil problems in Alaska? Well, there was the classic Exxon Valdez tanker spill back in 1989.

Google that one and you'll find a laundry list of dedicated websites including one maintained by
the petroleum boys claiming science is on their
side. Everything is fine now, Mac.

Currently BP is so bummed by its treatment in Alaska that it may withdraw all its investments
there. Course, they did some things to sour their relations. Like not fix leaky pipelines. That
cost them a few hundred million of those cheap Yank dollars.

What other moves can the Cheneyites make before they leave office? Perhaps we could force
emergency evacuation of West Virginia so we could simply coal-mine the whole state? How about we invade Norway? I hear they're working on solar weapons. They're the third largest oil exporters behind Russia and Saudi. Besides, they might find Guantanamo a warm alternative to Oslo in January. I hear rumors there's oil in Crawford, Texas, so let's get to drilling.