07/30/2015 03:43 pm ET Updated Jul 30, 2016

Ode to the Almighty Cellphone

It all started out with that phone on your ear.
A phone on your ear, oh my, what did you hear?
I heard nothing with words, but saw quite a bit.
I saw news and weather and every tidbit

Of people and dogs' lives
In picture and lore
And also I saw
Information galore

That boy jumped so high
And this boy fell down
The frog wears a dress
While the cat wears a crown

The video in hyperspeed
Oh, wait, slo mo's better
Did Tom Brady deflate balls? Old news.
Whaaat? Someone sent me a letter?

No just kidding
That isn't the case
But they sent me a text
With an emoji happy face

My phone is the greatest
That much I will say
I use it at dinner
At lunch and at snack
Because I don't want to miss
pictures posted
by Jack

in the bathroom
the bedroom
And of course, in the car

Is true, Where you find me
My phone won't be far
I can't put it down
Don't want to
You see
My phone is my lifeline
My art
And story

Look you in the eye
My, my don't be odd
The connection I want
Is to internet, Todd
Todd is your name?
Oh wait, I don't care
But I do certainly care
about how to overshare

We all do I guess
As now it is so easy
Nice bathing suit, Todd
Oh, wait, is that creepy?
Yes, I met you just once
But is true I now know
What you wore to friends weddings
And how often you go

To the beach
To the store
To the gym


Because once you check-in
It is all that I see
I can't put my phone down
Oh what would I do
Look others in the face
And converse with them too?

I can't stand to miss
The stories and tales
Of three legged races
with no legged snails
of moments on tape
and articles of conjecture
of negative reviews
and positive lectures.

Oh, my, make it stop
Just a moment alone
For me to see life
And not through my phone.
Not sure I can do it
But I guess I must try

And so now it would seem
is our final goodbye.


Text you later!!!

Oh, wait...