THE BLOG
09/05/2014 06:56 am ET Updated Nov 05, 2014

Are You Single, 50 And Want More Sex? Here Are 10 Top Tips

If you're single and over 50, finding a new sexual partner can be daunting. High50's Kerry Hiatt finds 10 ways to have more sex, from taking an erotic class to going on a singles' holiday.

You don't have the marrieds' option of rolling over and making a move on your sleeping partner, but the rewards for making an effort can be plentiful.

Lowered blood pressure, slashed stress levels, a bolstered immune system and longer life expectancy are all benefits of steady sexual activity. You get to have adventurous liaisons and plenty of orgasms to boot: what's not to love?

Here's how to can you get in on the action and have more sex when you're single.

1. Be open to new experiences
If you're keeping the same old routines and company, the likelihood of meeting someone new or doing something different -- let alone having sex -- are slim.

Nurse practitioner Barb Dehn, author of The Hot Guide to a Cool Sexy Menopause, stresses that you can't wait for fun to come to you.

"Be your own catalyst," she says. "The best way to spice up your life is to turn off the TV, get out of your house, take a class, try a new activity and get involved in life."

2. Host a getting-to-know-you party for single friends
Hold a social gathering and ask each of your invited friends to bring one single, eligible person you haven't met.

Being surrounded by your social group in a comfortable environment will make meeting new people feel more natural, but you'll still be putting yourself out there, says 61-year-old Monica Porter, author of Raven: My Year of Dating Dangerously.

"Don't be afraid to take a punt on someone," is her advice. "What have you got to lose?"

3. Learn to read sexual body language
"When first meeting someone, reading body language is essential if you're looking to have more sex," says Dr Becky Spelman, psychologist and relationship expert for sex toy manufacturer We-Vibe.

"Pupils will dilate, eye contact will be held for longer than the usual five seconds, they will find excuses to touch you and will mirror your movements if they are really interested."

4. Get your flirt on
Just as you're observing body language to see whether someone is interested, don't forget that others will be looking for the same from you. "Be confident. People are attracted to confidence," says anthropologist Jean Smith.

"Eye contact is the most powerful flirting tool. In my research, it is the number one sign that made people understand when someone was flirting."

5. Treat yourself to a makeover
Update your wardrobe, wear seductive underwear, get a new hairstyle and get healthy. Not only will it make you more attractive to the opposite sex, you'll feel better about yourself, too.

"If you look good, this will be reflected in your personality. You'll be more self-assured and more fun to be with," says Monica, who, aged 60, raced through a string of lovers in their 20s.

6. Familiarize yourself with safe sex
If you are sleeping with someone new, safe sex is critical.

"While an unwanted conception might be unlikely in your 50s, STIs are still a risk," says Durex sexpert Alix Fox.

And although some people think of condoms as unsexy, a woman could try using her mouth to put a condom on to her partner, she adds.

7. Take a sex class
Wondering exactly how you'll learn to roll a condom on to a man's appendage using your mouth? Or whether you'll ever find the evasive G-spot without a roadmap? Take a class or watch a how-to video.

Sex shop Babeland in New York offers sex classes while San Francisco store Good Vibrations features how-to videos on its website.

8. Try online dating
Online dating is big business, but none more so for people over 50. Dating website eHarmony reports more and more people are using internet sites in search of sex, dating and love.

MeetMyMatch has a specific 40-plus website and Match.com features articles and tips for dating in your 50s.

9. Go on a singles' holiday
Singles' holidays are a great way to meet like-minded people. Far from the cringeworthy sun-drenched days and booze-filled nights of your younger years, many singles breaks are being reinvented for a sophisticated market.

Whether it's hiking in a national park or cruising the Caribbean, solo trips can include gourmet food, stylish five-star hotels and activities better suited to a more worldly and refined crowd.

10. Be flexible and realistic in your sexual expectations
Finally, be flexible and open to people who might not usually be your type. Their manners, their dress sense, their smile - start every interaction off by mentally listing three things you like about new acquaintances. This will enable you to stay positive and open to discovery.

Speaking from her own dating experiences, Monica concludes: "Don't expect to find earth-shattering passion, total commitment, undying love and happiness.

"You might find them, of course, it isn't impossible. But we are all old enough to realise that those things are rare."

Related articles

Dating at 50: the definitive guide

Ten ways to have more sex when you're 50-plus and married

See all High50's love and relationships articles

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