12/05/2011 06:24 pm ET Updated Feb 04, 2012

The Emotional Abuse Secret: Why Kim K. Deserves a Thank You

Say what you want about Kim Kardashian, say she's a no talent, say she's famous for a sex tape, but what many women are saying behind closed doors, or thinking because they are too ashamed to say it, is thank you.

Kim's relationship experience appears to have started like any, insidiously. So insidiously in fact that it probably started as a little feeling of worry, a small voice in her soul saying something isn't right, but in their whirlwind romance, Kim and Chris were probably all ready engaged by the time that happened.

Then, like most couples, they had the pressure of proceeding with their commitment. They'd announced their wedding, not only to friends and families, but on tv, twitter and across magazine covers to millions of fans. It's hard enough for any couple to admit they made a mistake in becoming engaged. How embarrassing would it be to cancel a televised wedding?

And maybe, it was just one off hand comment? Maybe, it was taken out of context? Maybe, it could be attributed to a bad mood?

It definitely couldn't progress to anything worse, especially verbal and emotional abuse.

Or could it?

The world watched as Rihanna was forced to admit that she had fallen victim to domestic abuse showing the world that the most beautiful and talented women aren't immune. Is it such a stretch that emotional and verbal abuse can be prevalent even in wealthy, televised relationships?

So was the marriage a fraud? Or were Kim and Chris duped by each other, falling prey to pressure and expectations?

It's probably the latter. All the efforts to create love and acceptance can't stand against comments meant to deliberately hurt self esteem, and the worst of it is, emotional abusers rarely show their true colors until you've made your relationship is official.

Yes, there are signs: rolling of eyes, sighs of frustration, maybe even hurtful comments that are quickly disguised as jokes, but generally only someone who has been in the situation would recognize the process.

The process of turning a loving relationship into a hurtful one follows a pattern so vague it's barely recognizable in the relationship. It's like having a growing child: if you see the child everyday you don't notice they've grown three inches in 6 months. You know something has changed, but until a friend you haven't seen in half a year comes by announcing how much the child grew, you don't have the perspective to see it. You're too close to the situation. So goes abuse within a relationship.

The bad mood or off hand comment that happened once a week turns into twice, until one day you realize, it's all seven. Suddenly, you understand hearing, "Whoa, you ate a lot of wedding cake!" as you're being picked up and carried to the shower really wasn't playful, it was hurtful. And that's all it takes, one moment, one realization that suddenly makes other "jokes" or "comments" suspect.

Fortunately the silver lining is if verbal and emotional abuse was an issue, Kim K. has the opportunity to protect others against experiencing the same hurt.

The night of Rihanna's first interview after acknowledging being physically hurt by a previous boyfriend, more women called protective services seeking help regarding domestic abuse than any other date on record.

With emotional and verbal abuse still being kept a quiet secret among woman who believe the hurtful comments they are told or don't even know what is being said to them is wrong, Kim K.'s acknowledgement could validate that inkling inside saying "something is not right" and start a revolution for the betterment of women.

Through educating and empowering women showing that all are worthwhile and deserving of love and encouragement, maybe, she along with so many others will finally have the mirror held to themselves, and finally find the loving relationship that's been dreamt of.