05/13/2011 12:42 pm ET Updated Jul 12, 2011

How Are You Showing Up in Your Life?

"Whoa! You are perfectly capable of doing this on your own," my yoga teacher said in much surprise as she came to adjust my twisting triangle pose. In just one touch of her hand and my exhalation of breath, my ribcage and whole right side opened up effortlessly. I was sure it wouldn't. I was sure it couldn't. I just assumed. So my teacher assumed. And she and I were both surprised at just how capable I am to achieve the full pose on my own.

From that moment on in class, I was able to do full twists and poses that I have never done before in my 13 years of doing yoga because I thought I wasn't capable. I haven't been doing them not because of my body, but because of my mind! My body could do it, but I believed my mind that I couldn't, so my body listened. Ah, the power of the mind...! It was quite eye-opening, and made me think -- where else am I not even trying things because I assume I'm not capable?

I believe that the way we do anything is the way we do everything. So if I'm making assumptions about my lack of capability in my yoga class, where else am I making those assumptions? Where else am I short-changing myself? Probably everywhere else. I saw that I've done it in romantic situations... thinking I'm not capable of having everything that I want in a partner and a relationship, so I just settled for "good" because I didn't believe I was capable of "incredible." And I saw it with work.

I recently started a new writing job, which I am very excited about. Only, I feel like I'm in the waiting game with it. I've been waiting for instructions and guidance before I do anything. I want to do more, I just haven't because I've been waiting to be guided by others, and waiting to be instructed. In short, I haven't felt capable of just letting it rip on my own. I have been depending on others to "spot" me, just as I did with the yoga teacher. I haven't been trusting my own talent, my own gut, my instincts. I haven't felt capable. After the experience in my yoga class, that changed. I got right back to work and just wrote, without worrying about doing it wrong or waiting for anyone to direct me... because I'm perfectly capable!

Take a look for yourself, at your own life: how are you showing up? How do you show up when you're exercising, working, in relationships? Do you undervalue yourself, compete, doubt, self-sabotage, give up, push too hard? Are you showing up the same way everywhere in your life?

On another note, my yoga teacher assumed I wasn't capable because I assumed I wasn't capable. That's the vibe I put out. So she followed my lead. People in life treat us the way we teach them to treat us. When you are unhappy with the way someone is treating you, take some responsibility for it. How did you teach them to treat you like that? Look at your own actions and behaviors. They are just responding in kind.