I have just had my second novel, "Halle's Comet," self-published. To be honest I never think of myself as a serious writer even though I've written numerous blogs for Huffington Post, written several film scripts, started but not finished several novels, self-published "Both Sides of the Coin," and now "Halle's Comet." Talk about self-confidence!
It wasn't until a few moments ago, when I hung up the phone after a conversation with one of my oldest friends, that I finally said to myself, "Honey Seltzer what is the matter with you? Why do you never see the full value in yourself; not just in your writing but in almost everything you've done in your rather long and full life?" I can pinpoint the moment in my life, at the age of ten, when some stupid boy named Gilbert bullied me and forever or almost forever took away a great deal of my self worth. But that's another story and I'm working on that one.
I had received a draft copy of "Halle's Comet" from the publishers for final review, and had gone over it at least three times looking for any mistakes, albeit spelling or grammar. My eyes couldn't see them anymore, and so I asked this friend of mine if she would like to read the draft and correct any mistakes she might find. Frankly, I would have eventually bought and gifted her with a copy of the finished and published copy since she is probably the only person I know who a) doesn't have a computer, b) wouldn't know how to use one if she did have one, and c) would never have gone on Amazon to purchase one.
My friend often looks at me as though I come from another planet. We may have started out over fifty years ago as young wives and mothers; she married to a fairly wealthy man, I to a man who had lost all his wealth very early into our marriage. I had never known financial security and had eventually had the courage to take my life into my own hands and join the world of working women. Hence I had spent the past forty years getting up each morning and going into Manhattan from my Queens apartment to earn a living for my children and myself. My friend had never changed her way of living throughout these many years. She lived a life of routine that suited her, getting up each morning at 6:00AM, dressing and going to the local bagel store to join other woman to chat and eat. Lunchtime was a different local restaurant and so it went. The hair was done every Friday, as were the facial and nails. The housekeeper showed up each week and her home was and is immaculate. This has been her life, and although I had no desire to emulate her, I would try to encourage her to try new things. Alas, it never worked. Change frightened her. Whereas, change was what I had craved, received and have been eternally grateful for.
I know that the only kind of books she enjoys reading are books such as my latest novel "Halle's Comet," a book that any woman who loves Danielle Steele will totally enjoy. In fact my characters, if I dare say are more real, more exciting, and some much more despicable. Of course being set in the world of Motion Pictures also helps. I waited for her to say something. I couldn't ask her if she enjoyed it, it had to come from her. She is also not one that compliments come easy to, and so when she phoned and sounded all excited I literally held my breath. "You're a real writer she screamed. It's fabulous. I spent the past four hours finishing it. I couldn't put it down. I loved it. It's got everything and you seem to cover everyone so beautifully."
Suddenly I had become someone else to her, someone she looked at as a star. It's the way I imagine any of us who may have had a childhood friend that we had always been free and comfortable with had suddenly become a movie star. Our whole demeanor might change in their company. I felt her change and it was awesome if not ridiculous. But I try to be honest. Her excitement gave me a tremendous high.
Dear friends of mine who read this blog right now, I hope you can understand the joy I felt in hearing the words this woman said to me. This is a person who would never in a million years have said these things to me unless she truly, truly believed them. For the first time I really believed I had written a book that could sell. I think any woman who believes in love and beauty, and yes dreams would enjoy it. I am a writer, my goodness!