09/06/2013 04:42 pm ET Updated Nov 06, 2013

Fall TV Word Clouds: How to Find the Best and Avoid the Worst Shows on TV Without Ever Actually Watching Them

Fifty-six pilots were picked up this year. Fifty-six of them. Most of them will be making their way to your TV set in the next month.

If you were to watch all 56 of them -- just their pilots -- do you know how many hours of your life you'd lose? No? Do you want to know?

Me neither. Just know that you'd lose your sanity, maybe your job, definitely some friends, and probably your will to live.

We tried to simplify the process with some word clouds. This way, you don't even have to bother with sentences -- let alone pilots -- to know what's good.

The words and phrases in these word clouds are weighted by a formula we call "Accuracy to the Spirit of the Show." (It had an acronym, but I forgot it.)

It's all very scientific, I swear. We just sold the formula to the government and it will determine your next tax return. We're rich. Enjoy your TV shows, suckers.--Ben Collins

Fall TV Preview Word Clouds