01/15/2013 10:45 am ET Updated Mar 17, 2013

The Bachelor Recap: Joke's on You

In this week's episode of The Bachelor, the producers wasted no time in getting all the clichés out of the way on the first date -- helicopter ride, skyscraper and harnesses, relationship-building jump. Sarah gets the first one-on-one date, and she and Sean jump 35 floors down for a champagne toast. She's terrified (she admitted she wrote this on her application as her biggest fear. When will these girls learn?!), but squeals her way down anyway, Sean by her side.

Sarah opens up about her arm, and Sean finds this endearing and brave. She gets the rose; they kiss; and she thinks she's falling in love with him. Uh, isn't it the first date??

The group date card instructs 13 of the women to "Capture the Romance" and head over to a photo shoot. The winner of the modeling shoot doesn't get a rose, but a three-cover contract with Harlequin novels. Professional model (per the job title under her on-screen name tag) Kristy is practically jumping out of her skin with excitement.

The girls are put into four groups -- vampires, cowgirls, historical, and classical -- and get all dolled up. Kristy tells us nine more times how she is in her element and will win this competition. Lesley and Sean share a quick peck in one picture, but Kristy's eight years of experience in front of the camera prove to be worth it. She wins, but seems more concerned with her new contract than Sean. Publicity stunt?

Now for some chit chat!

Lesley steals Sean away to reconnect after their photo shoot smooch, but they're both pretty awkward and don't lean in for a real kiss. Lesley admits, though she's embarrassed to say it, that the real reason she's here is for love. Who would have thought?!

The two walk back out into the group, and Lesley pep talks herself into stealing Sean away for another moment to give him a "short and sweet" kiss. Hey, she only gets one chance to make a good impression, so good for her.

Kacie B. and Sean sit down and talk about transitioning from good friends to... wherever this may take them, and I still think she has a leg up on the competition. This was a deeper, more normal, and honest conversation because their relationship is based on a friendship. I guess we'll see how far that really takes them.

Catherine tells Sean she's vegan but loves the beef, which I find wildly inappropriate, but Sean seems to find hilarious. Moving right along.

The girls point out Tierra's constant moping, which Sean picks up on too, and he pulls her aside to find out what's up. She apologizes for being guarded, but what she saw of Sean on Emily's season blew her away, and she just really wants this to work out.

Wait, what?? She didn't even know Sean was the Bachelor until the producers told her on camera. They showed us last week!

After discussing her feelings with Kacie B., Katie the yoga instructor decides she needs to talk to Sean. She's not feeling comfortable with all of this (insert hair joke here) and wants to leave. Sean barely bats an eye and walks her out.

Desiree gets the second one-on-one date and is in for a real treat -- they're headed to the art gallery. Sean tells us he wants to marry his best friend, and when they're both 80 and have lost their good looks (ha!), they must be able to laugh together. And he decides the best way to uncover her sense of humor is to prank her. On their first date. On national television.

Des is tricked into thinking she knocked over a million-dollar piece of art, but Sean starts to feel bad and clues her in. What a good sport!

After the art gallery, the two hang out in the hot tub, where Sean presents her with a rose. She "pranks" him back by holding out for a solid 10 seconds before accepting the rose. He really likes her!

Suddenly, it's cocktail hour (or hours, for some... Daniella and Kacie B. have serious cases of drunk eyes). Lindsay is sober enough this week to have a really good conversation with Sean, and they tell each other repeatedly they want to get to know one another. Now would be a perfect time to start, guys!

The girls complain that Amanda is being really unresponsive and uncomfortable in the house (and who is Amanda?). But, as soon as Sean pulls her to chat, she perks right up.

Robyn, noticing the diversity in the house this season, approaches Sean with the "what kind of girl are you looking for, in terms of race" question, and he answers perfectly -- "I'm looking for my best friend." Robyn swoons.

Sean is confident his wife will be waiting at the end of this for him, so it's time to give out roses! Brooke and Diana are sent home and both give sad, but tear-less speeches upon exit.

I wonder if the girls who are sent home early and hold off on the ugly crying and drama are the real winners -- they get their three minutes of fame, show their (usually) nice personalities, and probably have guys knocking at their doors. Food for thought.

Anyway, what did everyone think of the prank on Des? How do we feel about Tierra and Amanda having completely different personalities in front of the ladies and with Sean? Drop me a line!