01/22/2013 07:01 pm ET Updated Mar 24, 2013

The Bachelor Recap: The Rules of the Game

On this week's episode of The Bachelor, we're greeted by a shirtless Sean, inner-monologue-ing to us about the coming week while lifting weights and running on the treadmill. We get it -- these girls are lucky.

With no time to waste, Lesley M. gets the first one-on-one date. Sean brings her to the Guinness Book of World Records museum, where his own father's record is on display for driving across the contiguous 48 United States in the shortest time. Sean has a surprise for Lesley -- he wants to add his name to the wall of fame and attempt to break another world record for the longest on-screen kiss.

The two of them are ushered onto a platform in the middle of a crowd, and their lips cannot separate for the entire three-plus minutes. Though it seems like the kiss is, at times, passionate, Lesley looks like she is struggling to keep from laughing for most of the time.

After three-plus minutes of awkward (but record-breaking) kissing, the two of them share some real kisses during their alone time, where Sean admits he is blown away by how connected he feels to someone else after such a short amount of time. And so a rose is handed to Lesley.

For this week's group date, 12 girls are split into teams to compete for some time with Sean -- playing volleyball.

The girls freak out a bit, since they're all "terrible at volleyball," (especially Taryn, who puts pressure on herself by saying this is the "most important game of her life"), but, miraculously, the score stays tied for almost the entire game.

At game point, Des' team wins, and the other team is sent back to the house in their sporty bikinis. Kristy weeps, because she should have been better (can't win 'em all, Kristy -- your modeling skills just outshined your volleyball skills this time), and Leslie H. sheds a tear because she just wants one minute with Sean. Aside from her job title, which I garnered from her on-screen name tag, I can't tell you anything about Leslie H. Her tear may be warranted.

The winning team gets cleaned up and has some time to chat with Sean. Lindsay steals him away first, and they share a pretty intense kiss. Desiree and Amanda have some words, and a drunk Kacie feels it's her duty to inform Sean of this tension.

Sean is not amused at all by this conversation, asking her why she feels the need to bring this up to him (my question exactly!). He seems really peeved that Kacie came to him with this and tells her she's acting like a crazy person! Ha!

I'm just not sure when these girls will learn the three basic rules of The Bachelor:
1) Write down "puppies, rainbows, and hearts" as your biggest fears, or you will be forced to conquer real fears on national television.
2) Do not get involved in other girls' drama. And do not bring it up to the Bachelor!
3) Do not ugly cry.

Anyway, Lindsay gets the rose, and Kacie realizes she really screwed up.

It's time for AshLee's one-on-one date, and, as she's waiting for Sean to pick her up, Tierra falls down the stairs. The paramedics rush over and assess the situation, collar her (thank you, Grey's Anatomy), and are ready to take her to get an MRI, when Sean rolls in. Tierra pops up, has the medics remove the collar, and refuses to go to the hospital. She retreats to the patio, where Sean cuddles her for quite some time, leaving poor AshLee waiting.

After the girls whisper about Tierra's "publicity stunt," Sean and AshLee finally head to Six Flags for the day. In a Catfish meets Bachelor twist, Sean decides to connect two girls with chronic illnesses who love The Bachelor and have been pen pals for over a year, but have never met each other.

At first, it seemed like AshLee felt a little forgotten, but, after a while, it looked like everyone was having a grand time. At the end of a long day of rides, Sean, AshLee, and the two girls were serenaded by Sean's favorite musical group, the Eli Young Band.

Ash and Sean finally got some alone time, and Sean started a conversation about family (AshLee was dying to get this off her chest all night... good conversation starter, Team Bachelor). AshLee tells the story of her father falling in love with her when she was adopted at age six, and Sean actually got tears in his eyes! Naturally, he gave her the rose.

Fast forward to the cocktail party, where Sean struts in and steals Sarah for a surprise. He brings her outside, where a limo pulls up with Leo, her dog. Since he didn't get to see her much this week, Sean wanted to show her he was still thinking about her.

The girls really sharpened their claws for this evening's festivities, and every time one girl sat down to talk to Sean, another came in and stole him away.

Kacie approaches Sean to apologize for her behavior the other night, but another girl swoops in before she can even finish her sentence. Kacie is left feeling unsettled, and now it's time for the rose ceremony. Sean must have read her mind, because he pauses the ceremony, rose in hand, to talk to her outside.

Uh oh! Sean thinks they are better as friends, and he has way too much respect for her to make her stand through another rose ceremony if he knows there's nothing there romantically.

Kacie is plopped in a limo and driven away, and Sean heads back inside to explain to the women what just happened and hand out roses. Unfortunately, Kristy and Taryn are sent packing, and both of them ugly-cry as they leave (clearly not following rule No. 3).

In next week's previews, Tierra really turns evil, and we finally get to see some of Leslie H!

Do you think Kacie blew her chance by tattling on the other girls? Who do you think Sean connects with the most? Leave me a note, and see you next week!