I have some dating advice I bet you've never heard before, and it has to do with your hands. Yep, your hands.
I'm not sure if it's just me and my friends, but when I asked a bunch of women how they felt about a man's hands, all of them enthusiastically responded that hands really matter, to the extent that his hands can either make or break a relationship!
Why? If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. When a man and woman first meet, they are looking at each other's faces while talking. It's actually very complicated, because (and both men and women do this) they are trying to listen to what he or she is saying, and at the same time, check out their face, their eyes, the tone in their voice, their body, and everything else, including their hands. Taking it all in can be quite overwhelming.
The way a man's hands look is important for several reasons. First and foremost, we are thinking, "Do I want these hands touching me?" We either do or we don't or we haven't really made up our mind yet (which isn't a bad thing.)
A man's hands say so much about him. Maybe he is an artist or a musician. If that's the case, we look at his hands and think about the beautiful work he is creating with these. Or, he's a firefighter or a construction worker, and he is using his hands to save lives or to build things. That is sexy!!
But even if you are a banker or a teacher, that doesn't mean we aren't looking at your hands. In my opinion, a guy's hands say so much about the guy. It's another aspect of who he is.
Even George on Seinfeld had nice hands! Remember the episode where he was asked to be a hand model?
If a man's hands are strong, it makes us feel secure. We want to be held by them.
The thing is, you've got what you've got. Just like everything else on your body, your hands are yours, and there's really nothing you can do to change them. BUT, you CAN make sure they are well groomed and that they look as attractive as possible.
For example, dirty nails are just disgusting to women, and that is something you can control. Same thing goes for excessive cuticles and stubby nails that have obviously been bitten. There's no shame in going to get a manicure!
I might sound superficial, but anyone who knows me will tell you otherwise. The point is, just like anything else, hands matter. You wouldn't show up on a date in the clothes you wore to clean out your garage, would you? You probably wouldn't go on a date unshaven or without having brushed your teeth, right? So, grooming your hands is just another thing that can make you more attractive or unattractive.
Ultimately, conversation is the deal maker or breaker when it comes to connecting with someone in a way that hopefully leads to a meaningful relationship. All hands do is enhance the attraction--or weaken it. All I'm saying is, we're looking.
Jackie Pilossoph is the author of her blog, Divorced Girl Smiling, and the comedic divorce novels, Divorced Girl Smiling and Free Gift With Purchase. She also writes feature stories, along with the weekly dating and relationships column, "Love Essentially" for Sun-Times Media local publications. Pilossoph lives in Chicago. Oh, and she's divorced.