THE BLOG
01/28/2016 04:58 pm ET Updated Jan 28, 2017

Procrastination: My Bestfriend and Me

Procrastination is of course useless at helping me, she is just hum, hum,humming away, urging me to google search snippets of the lyrics, then play it on Spotify and watch the video on YouTube.

Result: five music videos, make-up tutorial, cupcake tutorial and a vlog later, Procrastination has left, leaving me with my bone dry dirty laundry.

Procrastination and I are curled up on the sofa, the television is on, but we are not watching it, it is merely a bit of background noise as we get stuck into a book. A book which has been on the to-read pile for a few months now. Then just as the protagonist is going to reveal her deepest secret, Procrastination whispers in my ear: "Read it later," and as if by magic, the page is bookmarked and the remote is in my hand, last weeks unread magazine in my lap. After an hour of reality television I decide enough is enough and that I should really sort out the over flowing toy box but with the disguise of a good friend, Procrastination takes me by the hand pats the sofa in that ever so convincing voice she says: "Do it tomorrow..."

Procrastination has invited herself for a sleepover, it's a school night so a bit inconvenient, especially as she is in the mood for staying up all night and I am ready to go to bed. She vies for my attention, coaxing and urging me to just reach for my phone. I ignore her by switching off the lights, but somehow, Procrastination has put the phone in my hand and together we are opening Facebook...scroll...scroll..like...scroll past the Facebook rants filled with indirects...engagement announcements...like..birth of babies...like....

Sigh.

Now, onto Instagram, I switch on the light to get a better look... oh no! 52 weeks deep into an insta-stalk and I have liked a random picture of a cactus -- I AM MORTIFIED, Procrastination is finding this amusing.

"Don't worry, we won't sleep... Netflix and chill?" she suggests and I am considering her offer despite my body yearning for sleep.

Result: Six episodes, ten retweets and half a blog post later and Procrastination has decided she no longer wants to stay the night.

On my Christmas list to Santa I asked to Procrastinate less somehow I think he misunderstood what I meant because instead I have gained a best friend who doesn't deal with the ethos of GETTING ON WITH IT!

Does anyone want a new friend?

Name: Procrastination
Age: Unknown
Location: Next to Jade Priscilla who desperately wants to shake her off, so any suggestions would be greatly welcomed.