It's Episode 9 already? My God, The Fabulous Beekman Boys is so great it feels like it's episode 3. We only have a few left. I think I'm going to cry when it ends. For real. I'm going to cry. As usual, for this recap, I'll use the goat system to rank what I see, and it will indicate whether I will follow the Beekman Boys' lead and leave New York City.
It's still winter. I hate winter. It's cold. There's nothing growing. You have to sit around inside all the time. Brent decides to use the time to come up with ideas for expanding the business. I'd rather go to a movie. There are no movie theaters in the country. One goat.
Cheese. The Beekman Boys have been making cheese. They have been sending a lot of it to Martha Stewart. Brent has discovered, however, that Jean-Georges, famous chef, is opening a new restaurant and is looking for some tasty cheese. It is, he says, the opportunity of a lifetime! And while that may be a bit of a stretch, it is an opportunity. Brent decides Josh has to cook for Jean-Georges. I've known Josh for ten years and he's never cooked for me. Can he even cook? I guess we'll see. I like opportunities, and I like risk. Four goats.
Brent practices his French, which is pretty limited. There are some good laughs. I'm all for good laughs. Four goats.
Brent wants to make all of the food for Jean-Georges with things from the farm. The chickens, however, have not been laying eggs. Brent goes to Farmer John for advice on how to make them lay eggs. Farmer John says to add some hay and a light. That's a good deal for Brent. Josh cooks all the food, and he adds hay and light. Four goats for the strategy, and for avoiding the hard stuff. If living in the country can help me learn to do that, I'm all for it.
Josh has to check on baby goats. They're really cute. Farmer John has to come up with new names. I'm great at making shit up. I want that job. Four goats.
Josh is cheffing it up. Food looks good. Real good. Brent doesn't like it. I'd like it. I'd like just about anything if someone spent all day making it for me. Three goats.
Friends come over. They're rocking fur coats. I rock a fur coat. They go ice skating. I played hockey as a kid. Woohoo! Four goats.
Brent checks on the chickens. There are only a few eggs. Don't like the idea of having to rely on chickens to make a living. One goat.
They drive into New York. It's a nice long drive. I like long drives. They bicker. I listen to music and think about weird shit. Here's to long drives. Four goats.
Josh is cheffing it up in Jean-Georges' kitchen. There is lots of pressure. It's hot. There are sharp shiny things everywhere. He's wearing an awesome chef hat. Five goats.
Brent is still practicing his French. I like the dedication. Four goats.
Jean-Georges shows up. Dude cooks righteous food. He lives in NY. Bad for the country. You can't get food like his out of the city. There's McDonalds and fried chicken at the local gas station. Five goats for Jean Georges. One goat for gas station chicken.
The Master Chef tries Josh's food and the Beekman cheese. He likes it. He loves it! Five goats for success!!!
I've known Josh for ten years. He has never cheffed it up like that for me. Negative one goat.
They're back at the mansion. Two bonus goats because they live in a mansion. They are eating dinner, celebrating Josh's culinary triumph. Brent starts drilling Josh on goat breeds. He is using flashcards. I have flashbacks to my childhood and blackout for a minute. Brent needs to chill. Eat dinner and chill. One goat.
Total number of categories: 15
Total number of goats: 50
Average number of goats: 3.333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
Look country, here I come!
Don't miss the fabulous season finale Wednesday, August 11 at 9/8c. Watch a sneak peek!
The docu-drama The Fabulous Beekman Boys, starring Josh and Brent, airs on Wednesdays at 9 p.m. EST on Planet Green. Learn where to tune in your area here, watch the first episode for free on PlanetGreen.com, or download all episodes from itunes. You can read all of James Frey's posts about the Fabulous Beekman Boys, in which he tries to determine if life in the country is actually sweeter, here.