01/05/2011 01:22 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

God's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Hey, everybody, God here. I may be omnipotent, but I am just as prone to taking stock as all of you, my long-suffering subjects. I trust you will find some inspiration for your own self-improvement in these, my philosophical musings, and I hope you enjoy this rare opportunity to, if you will, meet your maker.

God's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

James Napoli is an author and humorist. More of his comedy content for the Web can be found here.