12/29/2014 09:56 am ET Updated Feb 27, 2015

God's Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

Hey, everyone, God here. While I may be far above you geographically, I am right there with you when it comes to taking stock of my life and shining a cold, harsh light on what needs improvement. All of us are prone to self-examination as the promise of a new year looms, and I am no different from any of you. Except for the fact that I never die, but let's not split hairs.

Anyway, here is a list of the things I want to work on this year. I hope you will find it inspiring in your own tiny little lives.

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