THE BLOG
01/23/2015 11:59 am ET Updated Mar 25, 2015

Removing Roadblocks to Love

Brian Danker via Getty Images

We all want to experience love and happiness in our lives, but there are times it feels like there's something standing between us, and the good feelings we long for. To let love in, we have to make a daily effort to be mindful of not letting in negative energy. When we judge others or hold onto old grievances, we create roadblocks to love.

Forgiveness is the gateway to love, and refusing to forgive keeps you from manifesting love and all of the other positive things you want in your life. Even when you accept that this is true, it can be difficult to forgive someone who has caused you pain.

Replace judgment with compassion.

We tend to be quick to judge others based on how they behave toward us. We find ourselves taking offense at someone's the words or actions and holding on to feelings of anger and resentment long after the incident has passed.

Next time someone makes a thoughtless comment or acts in a way that you find hurtful, pause for a moment and ask yourself two questions:

1. What is making me so quick to judge this person?

When you judge someone else, you are coming from a place of fear. Your own fears and insecurities are causing you to react with anger and judgment. Remind yourself that the traits we find most distasteful in others are those we fear most in ourselves. Before you take offense, consider the issues in your own life that need to be dealt with and healed in order for you to forgive.

2. What is this person's backstory?

It's easy to take things personally, but often the actions of another have nothing to do with you. Someone's insensitive words might be a result of their own insecurities, fear or pain. They may have forgotten to call you on your birthday because they're sick or grieving the loss of a loved one. Their critical remark about your new house might have been due to worry about their own financial or marital problems. The more you take the time to understand someone's backstory, the more easily you can respond to them with compassion instead of judgment.

Stop blocking the flow of love into your life.

Resentment and love are two powerful emotions - but they can't co-exist. If we only realized how the negative energy that comes from not forgiving blocks the flow of love and happiness into our own lives, we might start to perceive of the concept of forgiveness in a whole different light. Forgiveness isn't about being a "pushover" or letting someone else get away with something, it's about not letting anger and resentment take up space in our own hearts. We've all heard the saying "acid corrodes the vessel." Don't let resentment eat away at your soul. When you release bad feelings and forgive you leave room for compassion and love to flow in - and that's a good thing for everyone!


Remember that love is your natural state of being.

If you find yourself re-hashing an old grievance, or reacting with anger at the words or actions of someone else, pause for a minute. Don't let anger and resentment keep you from your natural state. Let forgiveness and compassion fill your heart and soul, and live a life filled with light and love.