THE BLOG
09/10/2014 11:22 am ET Updated Nov 10, 2014

Eric Holder, Inspired By Michael Brown and James Woods, Issues Criminal Indictment

Attorney General Eric Holder traveled to Ferguson to demonstrate his resolve for a federal investigation into the shooting of Michael Brown. The evidence has yet to be evaluated by a grand jury, and no one wants to rush to judgment, but AG Holder will make sure the process is fair.

Why did Eric Holder show up at the scene? He explained that he's the Attorney General of the United States, and he's also a black man: "I understand that mistrust."

Later AG Holder recalled this incident: "I can remember being stopped on the New Jersey Turnpike on two occasions and accused of speeding... I remember how humiliating that was and how angry I was and the impact it had on me."

New Jersey was now in the forefront of his mind.

"Justice for All"

James Woods is the actor who warned an airline in August 2001 about four terrorists doing a rehearsal for 911 on a flight from Boston to Los Angeles. He was concerned the men would hijack the plane based on their demeanor; he reported this to the FAA.

The evening of September 11, 2001, he called the FBI and for the first time, told them what had happened on the August flight. The next morning the FBI showed up at his door for a debriefing. Woods later learned he identified two of the 911 terrorist hijackers: one was on flight 175, and the other on flight 77.

Recently James Woods appealed to his followers on Twitter to urge AG Holder to investigate a gang violence incident in Memphis. In Hollywood terms, a large group of black teenagers were acting less like the gang in Rebel Without a Cause, and more like a gang auditioning for A Clockwork Orange 2014.

James Woods is a brilliant man, but apparently he didn't notice that of the three victims beaten into unconsciousness, two of the victims were white, and one was black. The Memphis police are not characterizing this as a hate crime. Apparently, those laughing, yelling teens aren't racists. They are sadists.

Besides, Eric Holder can't be everywhere at once. If he investigated each wilding and instance of unprovoked gang violence against unarmed citizens, he'd be flying around the country to Memphis, Chicago, Louisville, Jacksonville, San Leandro, and on and on.

Back to New Jersey: No More Two-Tiered Justice System

One can easily understand AG Eric Holder's mistrust and anger. Many are fed up with two-tiered justice.

How can it be that when $1.6 billion of customer money goes missing from a commodities trading house -- and is only recovered years later, after farmers and businesses have been irreparably harmed -- no one is indicted? Mountains of evidence have been ignored.

Jon Corzine, the former governor of New Jersey, former senator for New Jersey, former head of Goldman Sachs, top campaign bundler for President Obama, and CEO and Chairman of MF Global when it went bankrupt and $1.6 billion of customer money was missing, remains unindicted.

The problematic trades for which customer money was illegally used to meet margin calls, were personally designed by Jon Corzine. It's not plausible that Corzine didn't know MF Global couldn't cover its obligations without impermissible use of customer funds. (See: "MF Global Revelations Keep Getting Worse.")

Members of Congress intimidated each other over Corzine. One member of Congress, who said most people would call what happened at MF Global theft -- while pushing for an indictment of Jon Corzine -- was told by the New Jersey delegation that "wasn't being a good Democrat."

Yet AG Holder spent part of his summer in Ferguson, while Jon Corzine played in the Hamptons. It was a good thing Ferguson reminded Holder about New Jersey, and it was timely that James Woods reminded him about equal justice under law, otherwise we might have a two-tiered system of justice where connections and campaign contributions can ensure immunity from criminal prosecution.

Endnote: This is a work of satire in that Jon Corzine has not been criminally indicted.