04/20/2015 12:39 pm ET Updated Jun 20, 2015

The Real Reason I Don't Sell Weight Loss Anymore

Tuomas Marttila via Getty Images

Back when I took my coach training in 2009, I thought maybe I'd be a career coach, or just a general "everything" life coach. Pretty quickly, though, I realized that I was really passionate about one area, and that should be my niche: health and weight loss coaching.

You see, at that time in my life, I was deeply entrenched in the idea that I had to be thin and eat "perfectly" in order to be healthy, and that everyone else did, too.

I thought I had to eat the "right" way. I was searching for what that was, exactly, but I thought maybe I had to be vegan, or had to eat more raw foods, or had to eschew sugar, or grains, or dairy. I thought there was one perfect diet and I was going to find it and spread the word, dag nabbit!

I also thought I had to lose weight. Not just to be healthy, which was the story I always told myself and others, but also to be lovable and good enough. I was deeply, deeply attached to this idea, and I assumed others must have been, as well. If someone was overweight, I could teach them how to get thinner. How to cut back on sugar and eat the "right" way. How to get a "better" body.

I taught people this with the very best intentions, but I was coming from a pretty disordered place.

I'm no longer in the place. Now I love all of the food groups. Now I know health is about so, so much more than the number on the scale. Now I know what a bottomless self-loathing pit dieting and food obsession is. And because of that, I flat out refuse to sell weight loss anymore, to anyone.

In fact, someone in a business group I belong to told me that I should phrase my marketing materials in such a way that suggests I help women lose weight, as that would help me get more clients. That idea made my stomach hurt, and I knew there was no way on earth I would ever do that.

I don't want to help you lose weight. I want to help you feel free around food. I want to help you see how loving your body and giving up the diet mentality will make your life so much better. I want to help you see that your thoughts about what you should and shouldn't eat are creating the messed up relationship you have with food. I want to help you learn other ways to cope with your emotions besides eating.

Will you lose weight after you've learned all that? Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not making any promises when it comes to weight loss.

So the real reason I don't sell weight loss anymore? I don't want to. It just doesn't feel right to me. And I don't think any weight loss program, regardless of the promises it makes, works if you don't deal with all the other stuff first.

I truly believe you can find not only health, but happiness, by making peace with food and your body. By saying "no" to the crazy fad diets and schemes designed to help you shed 30 pounds by next Tuesday. By coming to terms with the fact that your body is not a static object that will look the same today as it did when you were in high school. By accepting you for you.

If that resonates with you, download my free guide, "The One Thing You Must Do to Stop Feeling Crazy Around Food" at, and say "no" to the idea that you have to lose weight in order to be healthy or whole.