THE BLOG
12/05/2014 06:27 pm ET Updated Feb 04, 2015

All Aboard the Love Revolution Train

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Having a strong relationship is the number one desire of so many people, and yet few are taught how to create one. Rather, most people are shown how exactly not to have a strong relationship.

People are running around starving for love, shielding themselves from it, and suffering in love as a result.

It's time we ended all that.

It's time for a Love Revolution.

The Revolution has actually started -- it was started by a psychologist who literally cleared a room of old school psychoanalytic psychotherapists when she first presented it to them.

"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win." ― Mahatma Gandhi

Dr. Sue Johnson cracked the code of love a few decades ago and has been proving herself right thanks to the wonders of technology and brain scans ever since.

Now, the Love Revolution has been sweeping the globe, especially within circles of psychotherapists and counselors.

I think it's long overdue for this Love Revolution to reach couples and individuals who don't find themselves on the brinks of divorce and on the couches of so many quiet and confidential therapy offices.

Join me in the Love Revolution?

The Love Revolution puts Love back where it belongs: At the top of our lists.

The Love Revolution shows us exactly how we've got love wrong, and how we can get it right.

The Love Revolution boils love down to a few key points:

- Love is an ancient survival code that's wired into our biology.
- Love is an emotional bond with our other half.
- We need each other after all.

How we've got love all wrong

Just look around and you'll find your next opportunity to get on the Self-Love Train with the latest 10-day Self-Love challenge -- maybe you're even the conductor.

I'm all for self-love, but the Love Revolution tells us that we can't love ourselves without being loved first.

In Johnson's words, "How does a baby know he's delightful? The baby knows he is delightful because when he looks into his mother's eyes, he sees delight."

Our identities are inextricably tied up in our relationships with others, from day one.

Listen, I'm all for being a strong and independent woman -- I was the girl who never dreamed of prince charming or a white wedding dress (but I got my prince, and I wore that dress). I could do just fine on my own.

What I didn't realize is how much stronger, healthier and better off I'd be when safely, securely and passionately connected to my other half.

We've got love all wrong because we hold up independence and autonomy as virtues to strive for without the recognition that we can be our most independent and autonomous only when we've got the back up of a significant other.

We've got love all wrong because everyone's obsessed with how "needy" they shouldn't be while doing everything they can to not be "co-dependent."

We've got love all wrong because we grossly underestimate its importance and our innate need for a secure emotional connection. We become completely out of touch with our emotional experiences and partners find themselves worlds apart from each other as a result.

We've got love all wrong because we look away from that niggling feeling that something's not right in our relationship until it grows like a cancerous tumor into something that will not be ignored and far too often destroys partnerships.

How the Love Revolution gets love right

It puts love back in the front seat.

It sheds light on the truth that we need safe and secure emotional connections with each other.

It gives partners permission to actually be with their emotional experiences, and not run away from them or push them away. As a result, couples start to actually see each other for who they really are, underneath the armor and gunfire that they have become so used to.

The Love Revolution then allows partners to actually be with each other.

In our crazy world we have marginalized love.

This is especially true for most success and business driven entrepreneurs.

Let's stop that already, and recognize what we already know on a deep level: That we are by far better off in life and in business when we are stronger in love.

It's time to board the Love Revolution Train and, as Marianne Williamson has said, "make love the bottom line."

To learn more about the Love Revolution, check out Dr. Sue Johnson's book, Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships