THE BLOG
01/08/2015 02:53 pm ET Updated Mar 10, 2015

What to Do When You Hate Every Photo You Take of Yourself

biglike via Getty Images

Are you plagued by the "I hate seeing photos of myself" syndrome??

Do you look at every single photo you take and scrutinize your flaws, analyze your imperfections , criticize your faults, then sigh, and resign to thinking that you are just fat, ugly and there's no hope for you?

Well, my dear, I have a new way for you to approach looking at photos of yourself.

I also used to agonize over every single pic of myself. I'd notice my hair that was flipped out in a weird way, my nose that seemed crooked, my one tooth that was sticking out, my skin which looked awful, my stomach that looked fat at that angle... and on and on it went.

It's crazy that I can look at any picture over the years and immediately place it on the "where I was in my f-ed up relationship with food/body" spectrum...

"Oh that's the picture when I was on my 'I don't eat processed anything' diet, lost my period, and was rail thin"

"Oh that's when I was binging every night and didn't know how to stop"

"Oh that's the photo where I gained like 30 pounds and looked bloated and fat"

You know what's funny?

Even now -- I like my body (for the most part); I'm comfortable in my skin (most of the time); I don't hate my stomach like I used to (98 percent of the time); and yet, I still look at almost every single picture of myself and dissect it.

I was looking at pictures from Christmas and my first thoughts were about my unflattering outfit, the angle I'm standing at, my weird smile, and my frizzy hair because it was humid.

It is crazy to me how negative I become when looking at pictures of myself.

Oh and don't forget the rules:

I have to be photographed from my good side.

My hair has to be in an exact place.

I have to do skinny arm.

My leg has to be angled a certain way.

Goodness gracious, it's just a single photo!

Who knew photos could cause such self-loathing, such a "Well, I'm in a bad mood now" and such stress?

I think we can all use a good dose of rethinking how we look at ourselves in pictures.

Next time you're looking at a photo of yourself, keep these three things in mind.

1. Notice the full you.
When you're dissecting, scrutinizing, analyzing, and picking apart every single aspect of yourself that you hate in the picture, you're only looking at one part of the whole. You're pinpointing something so specific (especially if you're zooming in to see how you look), so minuscule, and so particular, that you are missing out on the full effect of the photo!

Observe the picture from a bigger perspective. Glance at it like you would if you were just browsing, taking mild interest in what was going on in the photo. Refuse to let yourself "go there" -- don't start honing in on every single, little detail that you think looks awful about yourself.

When you begin to focus on the big picture, what the full you looks like (instead of just one specific part that you criticize), you'll start to see yourself in a new light.

2. No one else is looking as closely as you are at yourself.
When you look at a photo, are you even looking at the other people in the picture? Usually, you're so engrossed in thinking you look fat, wondering why you wore that unflattering outfit, or criticizing the zit you think looks huge, that you're not even looking at anyone else in the picture!

And the same goes for others looking at the photo. People quickly glance at it and move on. No one is picking apart and analyzing you like you are. It's just a snapshot, a moment in time. No one is even noticing half of the things you notice about yourself in the photo. So the next time you're anxious about hating what you see, remind yourself that no one else is even seeing half of what you're seeing about yourself.

3. Look at, feel, and remember your experience.
What was going on that day and in that moment? Did your friend who you're posing with say something hilarious that made you laugh right before the picture? Did you experience some crazy, awesome moment that you were dying to capture on film?

Go beyond what you look like and think about the experience you were having. Fill yourself up with the amazing times you were having in the moment that picture was taken. It will change the way you look at photos.

I remember being on Semester at Sea (best 3.5 months of my life!). I was knee-deep in f-ed up eating and I can literally remember where I was in my restrict/binge cycle when I look at every picture. It pains me to think that I'm remembering "Yep, that's when I was at the gym for hours and trying not to eat" or "That's when I was binging and couldn't get a handle on my weight" instead of the unbelievable, crazy adventures I was going on.

When I look at pictures, I consciously remind myself of the experience (instead of thinking about how I looked and what was wrong with me). I close my eyes and picture the trip up the Great Wall of China; the laughter of my friends playing board games on the ship; or the simple happiness in the children at a school I visited in Vietnam.

Because, after all, what we are really longing for is the joy of that memory, that moment, and that experience.

So, next time, you're looking at a picture and your immediate reaction is to criticize yourself, come back to these three steps. Begin to find a new way of viewing the moments you capture.

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