02/10/2015 04:25 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Doppelganger Cliffhanger

There is nothing more terrifying than waiting for the answer to the "do you know who you remind me of/look like?" statement/question.

You brace yourself for an answer that doesn't push you to Botox, Spanx and a wig, or at least I do.

To wit: The other night at my brother's 50th birthday party, Tom (a friend since Junior High) told another friend, Michele, that she looked like Joni Mitchell. Another party-goer added, "no, you look like Kim Gordon!" For those non indie-music fans, Kim Gordon is a super cool artist, guitarist and vocalist who co-founded Sonic Youth with Thurston Moore, with whom she was married to for almost 30 years. She also has a book coming out in a few weeks, Girl in a Band, which I cannot wait to read. Of note: Mr. Moore left Ms. Gordon for a much younger girl.


I gave Michele a high-five because man, to be told you look like not one but two really beautiful, interesting, artistic, soulful woman is a huge complement. Other party-goers piled on, oohing and aahing how yes, yes, YES, Michele looked like both! And then they all debated if Michele was more Joni than Kim, which ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Can this night get any better for her? They had nailed her doppelgangers, two women who happen to be cool as fuck, and Michele continues to bask in that knowledge and will forever. By the way, Michele is cool and hot in her own right, inside and out. But still. By the way, that's her below in the "happy" shirt. I'd be happy too if I was compared to Kim or Joni.


And then this so-called-friend Tom shouted across the packed kitchen to me, "Paula, you know who you look like?" as I steeled myself against the kitchen counter, petrified for what was about to come. "Ruth Buzzi!" Then he laughed and added, "Or maybe you're more of a Phyllis Diller.

I've had a long history of the buzz-killing "you look likes" including "Susan Powter" (Stop the Insanity!), "Maude" (as in Bea Aurther) and "my cousin Fernando."



My Blank Stare, Blink blog partner Jslow, pictured left in a Kim Gordon for Surface to Air metallic blazer, gets the good ones just like Michele (Annie Lennox!). And me, well, I'm starting off 2015 with massive Doppelganger envy.

I suppose it could be worse. My aunt Maria looks like Paul McCartney and my ex-mother-in-law is a dead ringer for Donald Rumsfeld. And she's a liberal. And a lady!

So the next time you think of playing the "you know who you look like" game, be nice. There's a good chance you'll make someones day, or ruin it. Now please excuse me while I slip into a muumuu, YouTube Laugh-In and blast some Sonic Youth.

For more of our style musings where we give father time the finger, please visit us at Blank Stare, Blink.