04/15/2014 06:03 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

A Word About Your Beautiful Anger

When I get stuck about what to write about, I'll often ask a friend to give me a word and then just jam on that. This morning's word was "resurrection" and, of course, the first thing I thought about was "insurrection."

A quick online dictionary check, gave me these definitions:

Insurrection: A violent uprising against an authority or government: "opposition to the new regime led to armed insurrection."

Resurrection: A rising again, as from decay, disuse, etc.; revival.

It's interesting that both words speak of "rising." Just a couple of weeks ago, it occurred to me that, if we LATvians had one common connection, it would be this:

Life After Tampons is a community of "Women Who Rise." (click to tweet)

The difference between the two lies in the energy and community behind the rising. If you are part of an INSURRECTION, you are part of a GROUP of people who are rising up in anger at the status quo. You are rising up AGAINST something.

When you have been resurrected, it is a very private thing. It is a quiet rebirth. You alone are being born anew, freed from decay, death (here I mean emotional and spiritual death) and disuse.

If you are proactive about your life, you can have a gentler awakening to transformation. But, if you let things go, if you abdicate your responsibility to your own happiness again and again and again, eventually you are likely to get very p*ssed indeed.

Thus, the INSURRECTION -- think How Stella Got Her Groove Back or The First Wives' Club.

When I first got sober all those years ago, I remember saying to one of the women who was helping me that, often, I didn't drink because I was too proud to come back to my friends and tell them I had failed, to which she replied, "Jennifer, there's no wrong reason to stay sober today."

Of course, in my grandiosity, I wanted to be more spiritual than that. My friend had a way of cutting right to the quick of my ego, and using it to help me help myself. Change agents will do that; they will use any tool at their disposal to call attention to the path of transformation.

As your "midlife midwife" here's what I'm delivering today: You can rise up in anger against the status quo OR you can simply awaken to what's already calling to you from within.

And NEITHER is a wrong approach. Eventually, though, the anger will hurt you. It will eat at you in a way that puts you at risk of becoming embittered. nd nobody wants to hang out with an angry harpy.

However, if you need to get a little outraged today to get going, so be it. Just remember this: EVERYTHING that STAYS in your life is there at your own invitation. Not everything that happens to you, but everything you allow to continue to hurt you.

And remember, you don't have to leave something to be free of it. Nope. Instead of running away, consider running TOWARD...


Your own beautiful heart.

Your own beautiful dream.

Your own beautiful possibility.

Your joy is waiting for you. In fact, you've even got a place all ready in your heart to receive it. Right now that place is holding resentment. As soon as you put that aside, you'll have a place for the joy to dwell.

Insurrection. Resurrection. Either will work. One is more sustainable. But, if you're stuck you don't need to worry about that.

Simply. Begin.



photo: flickr, widerbergs