12/31/2014 01:18 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Need to Lose 10 This Year?

Blend Images/John Fedele via Getty Images

What 10? Ten pounds? What if you let that go? Do you say that every year? What if you focused on another 10 to lose? Or 10 to gain? What? Is this crazy talk?

Think about it: What if you focused on letting go of 10 limiting beliefs you have about yourself? Or 10 things you think are wrong with you? You can just decide to be honest and realize that the mean things you say about yourself will not change just by losing 10 pounds. I lost 60. Trust me. The mean girl can actually get louder in your brain then. Do the inner work first. Love yourself as-is.

What if you tried to impact 10 people's lives in a positive way? Help a neighbor, donate to a family, be kinder to a family member, volunteer or even just resolve to not comment negatively on social media. Can you image if we all had to wear our posts and comments, even anonymous ones, on t-shirts? Would we be proud? What if what you said on social media was like a billboard to the universe saying, "Bring me MORE of this please!" Seems so simple. What we search and look at shows up as ads on social media and it filters things for us.

Try this experiment: Observe what you read, talk about, look up on Google and see if more doesn't come into your world. There are some people who are drama magnets. There are some people that good stuff always seems to happen to. Yes, some things don't seem fair, but our reactions and how we move forward in life is about us. If you have a bad story, drop the story, and get clear on what you want. You know that's sure as hell what you don't want... so stop telling everyone. When you can tell the story not as a victim, but a victor, someone who rises up like the phoenix rising from the ashes, tell a new version of the story and your life will change. We have the power to change the world. Our energy can be positive or negative, by our choice. It's like a car, no matter how much wind or opposition, you still get to steer. At any point you can change direction. Yes, it's easier for some people. But who cares? I thought that as a bulimic teen. I also used that excuse when I was overweight and saw women thinner and prettier than me. It kept me stuck. Thank God I don't do that comparison game anymore. All women are beautiful and my equals.

Here's another perspective to think about: What 10 aspects of yourself have you not realized yet? What 10 new beliefs could you adopt in 2015? They could become like affirmations, mantras, or if that's too woo woo for you, think of it as your new motto. Because you probably have a crappy motto you say all the time and you don't realize it. One of my mottos I'll be dropping this year, also a limiting belief is, "You guys never listen/drive me crazy/always make a mess." You know... what you say in bitchy mode. I know how much my words create my experience. I'm going to be even more deliberate with my thoughts and words.

What if this year, instead of picking 10 things you need to improve, you created a list of the top 10 experiences you would like to have? It's like a bucket list, but instead, think of it as a bliss list. I'll write another blog on that too. Join me this year on choosing not just to be happy, like slapping a smile on every day, but experiencing true joy. One person commented on a post of mine on Facebook asking me which came first for me, self-love or happiness. It's the chicken or the egg theory.

When you choose to be happy, raising your vibe every day, soaking up good energy, creating the feelings you want, connecting to your inner mojo... self-love follows. When you focus on loving yourself, all of you, 10 extra pounds and all, your mistakes/flaws/regrets/past and DECIDE you will truly be your BFF, happiness is a side effect. So, instead of resolutions, join my self-love revolution and take good care of yourself. Plus, you'll be nicer to others. It's a win-win.

This is part of my mission to empower, uplift and inspire my sister goddesses of the world. My first non-fiction book, Sexpot With Stretch Marks, with be released on January 8th, 2015. For details, go to my website: