05/17/2012 02:22 pm ET Updated Jul 17, 2012

15 (Kinda Sorta) Truths About Dinner

Those of you who have your Ph.D in D.A.L.S. are already aware of the groundbreaking scientific work we've done on our blog establishing various theories about dinner -- the preparing of it, the consumption of it, the enjoyment of it. For instance, this well-worn favorite:

1. When you take three measly minutes in the morning to do something that helps you get the momentum going on dinner prep -- chopping vegetables, marinating meat, placing a pot of water on the stovetop -- you will end up saving up to 15 minutes on the other end of the day when you arrive home from work.

I can't pretend to know why this is the case -- as backing up our dinner theories with real data tends to take more time than we actually have. Time we would rather spend coming up with more impossible-to-prove wrong theories. Such as:

15 (Kinda Sorta) Truths About Dinner