THE BLOG
04/02/2013 02:13 pm ET Updated Jun 02, 2013

The Second Coming

Roughly half of Christians in the U.S. say they believe that Christ will definitely or probably return to earth in the next 40 years--Pew Research Center

Now living in the End of Times
We sinners all scared shitless
Ask not for whom the doorbell chimes.
It's some Jehovah's Witness.

The warning signs are all around
The situation's dire
The sky is rendered by a sound
The oceans turn to fire.

But of the hour, no one knows.
You can't Yahoo or Google
The moment when the angel blows
God's almighty bugle.

It's knowledge we cannot possess
It's strictly in God's will, dear.
Jerry Falwell tried to guess.
But look, the world is still here.

And just in case it's not the end,
If we've got more time, it
Seems like God might recommend
We not f*** up the climate.