07/25/2014 12:18 pm ET Updated Sep 24, 2014

So, He Broke up With You -- Now What?

So, he broke up with you. Now what? He called quits, said "Nada, no more, don't want it."

I don't think the hardest part about going through a breakup is missing him at night or craving his voice on the other line when you need it most. I think the hardest part of a breakup is the questions left unanswered, and trust me there are a lot of them.

I mean, how could there not be? For me, the hardest part was hearing him say on Thursday that he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me and then hearing him on Friday say he wants to break up... Uh.

That's the hardest part -- trying to figure out what happened in between all the good. It is a different kind of heartbreak than the others, or so it seems. It is not sour, it doesn't feel like the world is over, and it is not done through an AIM chat room, but it closes up your throat and makes your stomach tight. There's not a lot of hatred, just mostly disbelief. Confusion. Emptiness.

My best advice, the now what?-factor? Start over. Brand new. Go out with your girls, take advantage of someone actually buying you a drink, and don't be afraid to go on a date or two. Find whatever you can in your life that is positive and just completely surround yourself in it. That reservoir you keep passing on your way to work? Yeah, actually stop by it tomorrow.

Start thriving, start working out again, start a meditation routine. Pick up a new craft, find a new job, and just go. Travel on the weekends, don't be afraid to take the left at the fork, and definitely make a good CD. Start living your life to the fullest-THRIVE it out and start fresh.

I promise you, it's truly the little things that are going to matter the most in getting over him. It won't be easy, in fact it definitely won't be easy, but trust me when I say it won't be impossible. Without even realizing it, you're going to spend a lot of time just doing you. Be yourself, laugh, and get weird. You will definitely have a few nights where the tears won't stop, but when you wake up in the morning and realize the sun is shining a bit brighter than the day before, you'll realize you made it through another day.

Chin up girl, you totally got this, and I do, too.