09/30/2009 05:12 am ET Updated 5 days ago

Citibank Really Needs to Rethink This Poster

I'm completely sick right now, but the irony wasn't lost on me. I was walking home with my five-dollar cup of matzah ball soup when I saw a new banner unfurled across Citibank's window. It depicts a man with a bowl cut. He is grinning manically. And he's perched atop a unicycle.

I may not be the Money Honey, but I can tell you that a man on unicycle does not a picture of stability and fiscal responsibility make. Everyone I know who has ever ridden a uni-wait-I take that back. I don't know ANYONE who rides a unicycle. Possibly because aside from being an extremely dangerous form of transportation, a unicycle manages to make whoever rides it look extremely stupid.


So here is me -- I represent America in this scenario. So America is standing outside Citibank with a drippy nose holding her inflated soup and here is Citibank grinning as it pedals jerkily away with our tax dollars perched willy-nilly on its flimsy unicycle.

Citibank, what were you thinking? You really think I'm going to see that sign and be compelled to come inside and hand over all my money so you can just ride it into the next economic open manhole? How about next time you just have picture of a guy in a clown car or maybe a hang glider? How about boarding the effing Hindenburg while you're at it?