11/06/2007 05:45 pm ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

In Divorce, Giving Up the "Wifestyle" Is Not Easy

Poor Heather Mills. She is truly a desperate housewife. Like many,
she didn't fully digest how her "wifestyle" would disappear after
breaking-up with a husband of fame and fortune. She was so used to the
flashbulbs and fawning friends as the wife of Sir Paul McCartney that
she became drunk with her self-importance. Imagine her surprise when
minus McCartney, this former stripper was stripped of prestige and
perks. Poof. All gone.

Now Mills is imploding on television, spewing out venom and genuine
looniness, as she inhales any television camera that will come near her.
For a price of course. She must deliver the Faustian bargain of
bad-mouthing Paul McCartney, the father of her daughter, Beatrice. So
addicted to attention is she that Mills reportedly refused millions just
to shut up and go away.

All those in the divorce field know that bad-mouthing the ex is a
no-no that rarely pays off. Nicole Kidman didn't diss Tom Cruise nor did Reese Witherspoon fire grenades at Ryan Phillipe. One must protect the child's relationship with each parent. Mills should find
other sources to share the frustration and sadness of the experience.
Vent to a therapist, a family member or to a friend.

But a problem lurks behind the divorce door as well. Friends become
scarce. Especially if you haven't been so nice with your position.

"It becomes a real shock to many ex-wives how after divorce all
the invitations suddenly dry up like a desert," says celebrity divorce
attorney Raoul Felder, who has represented Rudy Giuliani and Robin
Givens."The phone stops ringing, friends disappear and side with the
person with more money and power. It's very hard for them. "

Unless of course your identity and popularity are not defined by
your husband's success. Look at the outpouring of support for Cecilia
Sarkozy, who said au revoir to her husband Nicolas, France's President.
Presidential perks weren't enough to keep her in an unfulfilling
marriage and divorcing, as she poignantly told Elle Magazine, "is an act
of honesty." She didn't trash her husband or berate him. . After
devoting 20 years of her life "in his shadow," Cecilia said she didn't'
want to live a "pretend" life any longer. At least by divorcing, she
now has the possibility of finding pleasure and contentment while there
is still sunlight. She isn't a woman who looks at her life with regrets
but as unclaimed possibilities that she will now pursue.

It is a conclusion that many women reach.

According to an AARP study, two thirds of people initiating
divorce are women.

But some women like Sarkozy divorce with class, while others like
Mills, are simply crass..