01/18/2009 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Hollywood's Special Glow

They've finally done it. They've finally transplanted a human face.

Well, to be technical, they've already done it 3 times before, but this is the first American time, and thus, the first time that counts.

Now let's not get all tedious and start talking about the "ethical dilemma" that this potentially brings up, the "just because we can doesn't mean we should" of the affair. Sure, your Single White Female nightmares may take on a horrifying new dimension. It's possible that a new surrogacy market could arise, in which immigrant females sell their faces to rich Americans, leaving them with quickly-spent cash and a face that makes them marketable only as maids for radio. And yes, it's likely that Nip/Tuck will tap into this as another plotline/adolescent fantasy that the "writers" live out at the expense of the captivated, the horrifyingly captivated, viewing public.

But that pales in comparison to the real import of this news.

It means that Hollywood is psychic.

Think about it -- we've already seen Junior, the great career-defining work of the esteemed Californian governor, played out in real life. Hell, it's heading for a sequel. And now Face/Off, with its eerily plausible world of switch-faced good and bad guys, has been shown as not a work of escapist science fiction, but a harbinger of future truth.

Knowing the Nostradamusesque predictive power of Hollywood films begs the question: what else is on the horizon that we've already seen on the silver screen?

Battlefield Earth: If there's one thing that the Face/Off prophecy can teach us, it's that John Travolta's works are infused with a greater meaning, not yet made clear to us. All the more reason to pay attention to the epic religious saga that is Battlefield Earth. Why else would Tom Cruise suddenly have a sense of humor about, of all things, himself, if he didn't see the spaceship's tractor beam coming for him, ready to prove him right?

Quantum of Solace: Within the next year, the opening action scene, with its kill-or-be-killed death-defying feats, will be used as a guideline in final interview rounds for jobs in media and finance.

Minority Report: Actually, this is kind of already happening, what with Google targeting ads based on reading your e-mail (how did they know I was interested in both silicone spatulas and a biography of Montezuma?), and us starting a whole "strike them before they strike us because they might do it, maybe, we think" precedent...proving the power of the scientologists once again!

Soul Plane: The free-falling economy will convince many not-working-much black actors and musicians to pursue second careers in airline safety. HIGH-larious!

Zack and Miri Make a Porno: Lots more people will be doing porn. Lots. People who don't have the money for the surgeries you wish they'd had already. Like face transplants.