06/28/2010 05:12 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

It's a Great Day to Be White in Arizona!

Since Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed a bill that will allow police to randomly question anyone they choose about their immigration status, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor would probably be better off not walking alone on a street in Phoenix, lest she get thrown against a police car.

Gloria Estefan, Ricky Martin, Enrique Iglesias and Jennifer Lopez might be advised to not perform in the Grand Canyon State unless they have their passports in their pockets during the show.

Anyone that "looks" like they might actually mow lawns, drive trucks or fold laundry had better be brushing up on their ingles.

Gov. Brewer denied any racial profiling and said, "We must enforce the law evenly, and without regard to skin color, accent, or social status," and then signed a bill that targets people with regard to skin color, accent and social status. What, you think the police are going to start asking white seniors to show their papers?

The Governor has said that she believes "God has placed me in this powerful position as Arizona's governor" to help the state weather its troubles. God apparently also told her to take away the state's domestic partner benefits for same-sex couples a year after they were implemented, leaving as many as 500 university employees without coverage for dependent family members. The health, welfare and civil rights of the populace be damned - God has conservative values!

The bill's Republican sponsor, state Rep. Russell Pearce, said, "We'll have less crime. We'll have lower taxes. We'll have safer neighborhoods. We'll have shorter lines in the emergency rooms. We'll have smaller classrooms." Not to mention less Latinos, which might be swell with him if his past associations with white separatists (which he later apologized for) are any clue.

While denying any racism, in 2008 Pearce sponsored a bill prohibiting students of Arizona universities from forming groups based on the race of their membership. He said he didn't want students indoctrinated with seditious or anti-American teachings, such as those dens of sedition the Mexican American study program or Black Business Students Association.

Americans have a hypocritical love/hate relationship with illegal immigrants. As Eric Schlosser vividly documents in his book Reefer Madness, which I would highly recommend, illegal immigration is built into America's economy, and many industries depend on employing illegal workers. Who's going to pick strawberries for $5 a day - you? The minute people have to pay $1 for a strawberry, they're going to be smuggling Mexicans in the back of their SUVs.

And plenty of otherwise law-abiding Americans have at one point or another employed illegals, including celebrities, high court nominees and politicians. Ask Mitt Romney about his Guatemalan landscaper.

Conservatives who have been screaming that their freedoms being infringed upon by health care reform are now applauding a law that infringes on the freedoms of every Latino in Arizona.

And conservatives who routinely trash the federal government are saying that the federal government should take care of it. Mike Huckabee said, "This is a federal problem, the feds ought to be fixing this, they ought to be standing guard at the border, they ought to be enforcing the federal laws."

I don't know the solution to the illegal immigration crisis, but I would bet that giving the police unrestricted power to harass citizens, especially police who might share the mindset of former officer Russell Pearce, isn't it.

And it isn't a great idea to enable people like those who made death threats against Rep. Raul Grijalva (D-AZ) for calling the law discriminatory, and left phone messages like, "Tell that tortilla-eating wetback to go back to Mexico."

And please, in the name of Judge Judy, don't tell me you hate the government and then blame the government for not doing it's job, and don't tell me you're not racial profiling when you sign a bill that mandates it.

As long as we're profiling, why not have New York City police randomly stop Wall Street bankers on the street and make them prove they are not trading fraudulent mortgages? Or the have D.C. police detain congressmen and ask to see their expense accounts? How about some equal protection under the law around here?

The logic here is enough to make your cabeza spin.