Firstly, I can't take any credit for the title and nor can I take credit for the post that I'm going to direct you to review and also encourage you to share and comment on. A beautiful friend of mine here in Sydney Australia has her own blog -- Life hypothesis of a gen-y mum -- and she recently posted up a meaningful blog titled "Seasoned Friends".
I won't copy or re-write what she wrote as I would love for you to go read her words yourself, taking in her points and start a conversation. The reason why I've guided you to this post is because it's a topic that I have recently (this year) have been thinking about a lot and something that I wanted to write about. I've been beaten to it! Actually, I would like to say that, as friends, our great minds think alike and it was refreshing to know that someone else was thinking the same thing and had been going through a similar situation.
Everything happens for a reason, everything has its place and everything has its time; same goes with the friends and relationship partners that come into your life and, if it does happen, leave. On a personal note, this year, 2014, I have personally experienced three close friendship and one loving relationship dramatically end and all without an explanation. I am sad that these have all ended, especially since I have no idea why. However, you can't force someone to be your friend or your partner as I've learnt that you cannot control what others will do.
I had spent months beating myself up about all these losses, considering that there were a few in the one year, which is a first for me. I spent months accusing myself of not being a good friend and partner, I blamed myself for being a bad person and I would play moments over and over in my head thinking if I just changed this about myself then this wouldn't happen. Admittedly, I still have moments of disappointment that these people are gone so I have to work hard to shift my thought process and channel strength.
I do surrender myself to let go knowing that with all these losses that I did (try) to the best of my ability to save all the friendships and relationship. I know that I had put myself out there to talk and ask what happened and if I had done anything wrong. The disappointment is that with all losses, they wouldn't (or couldn't) give me a reason, so till this day and as I write this post, I still have no idea why our friendships and relationship had ended. I've just had to respect and accept their decision.
The truth without knowing why is difficult, which is probably why I questioned my worth and me as a person in general. I nearly believed that I was a bad person who didn't deserve these friends and partner. It took some time and still taking some time, talks with my real friends and even mediation for me to realise that I am who I am. I'm not, and no one is, 100% perfect and we all have our own unique flaws but we all also have our own unique greatness which makes us all special in our own way.
As I get older, I'm learning that friends and even partners will come and go but those that stay will be worth every moment. It is a shame when someone leaves your life but take the good that you have learnt during that time; friends and partners may only be with you for a season but it's within that season that shapes you as a person for the next phase of your journey.
To those who have left my life this year, friends and partner: I wish we had the opportunity to work it out and be real with each other. My door is always open but until then, I wish you all the best and I thank you for the good times and helping me become a stronger person to cherish those who want me in their lives.
PS: I don't want my next partner to be a season, I would like him to be forever!