WHO am I? Who AM I? Who am I? Same question, different emphasis. But a question that I found myself pondering, in all its iterations, for several months.
The answers I came up with varied:
Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Aunty, Friend. All of them superficial, and not quite answering the question. These were all roles that I have. Important roles. But they didn't explain me. They didn't explain who I really was, deep down inside.
For the longest time -- probably something like 42 years -- explaining myself by explaining the roles I played for others was OK. But earlier this year, just before my 43rd birthday, I had someone ask me that deeper question of who I was. After pausing for a few moments I responded, "I have absolutely no idea."
I knew what mattered to me and I knew who mattered to me. But I didn't really "get" who it was deep down inside me that actually called the shots in this journey of my life. I didn't understand what it meant to truly understand myself and to be completely true to me over and above everyone else.
Since that day back in early March, I've philosophized a lot about the real me. Starting a daily meditation practice in May helped me along the way. Connecting with my inner being on a daily basis opened my eyes to dreams and visions that I had previously dismissed.
Reading Thrive and The Big Leap, The Alchemist and The Icarus Deception had me nodding along at regular intervals. Gaining a greater understanding of myself and what I stood for along the way. Completing every exercise in The Desire Map -- instead of just dipping in as I'd done for over 12 months -- brought even greater clarity.
The answer was in all of these places... And in none of them. It was deeply within me. In that place that we rarely open up -- unless we are a truly enlightened being. It was one person, a good friend and amazing medical intuitive, asking me one question over and over again. In a completely emotionless way. Gently, gracefully and with no judgement. "Jodie, who are you?"
I fought it. I answered. Or so I thought. But it was always a superficial answer. No judgement from my friend. Just the question again. "Jodie, who are you?" I told her to F off. To leave me alone. That I didn't know. But she kept asking -- gently, quietly. And eventually, I knew the answer. Eventually, I had dug deeply enough. And it was powerful and uplifting. Freeing and insightful. Finally, I had my answer to who I really was.
And so now I am embracing that voice within. That voice that told me that I was "a little girl, wanting to be heard." I am acknowledging that I have something to say. And that it's important to say. And I am sharing this, because I know, deep down inside, that in sharing my story, I may help someone else find the courage to dig deep down inside and find out who they really are too.
I will always be a mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter. But now I am also a woman with a message. And a woman who wants to make a difference in this world. A woman who feels deep down inside that it is her life's purpose to inspire others to free themselves from all the "should" and find within the real them. A woman who has something to say, and wants to be heard.... finally.
Jodie Preiss is a multi-passionate woman on a mission to change the world, one experience at a time. She is forthright in her goal of making the world (even just her small corner of it) into a better place. Jodie believes strongly in inspiring women to think differently about themselves, their world and their abilities. She is passionate about making her own time on this earth fulfilling and meaningful, and wants to help others do the same. Jodie creates experiences where women can indulge in some time out. Where they can celebrate being an inspiring woman. And where they can appreciate all that they can achieve. Find out more at www.jodiepreiss.com