Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Episode 9 of FX's "American Horror Story: Aslyum," titled "The Coat Hanger"
It could just be that I've been spending most of my recent days studying or panicking over finals and eating my feelings, but I was just completely bored by this episode of "American Horror Story: Asylum." I found myself diverting my attention to Instagram or Facebook while watching "The Coat Hanger." Don't get me wrong, it had some interesting moments, but as a mid-season finale, it just didn't do it for me.
Dylan McDermott (not Dermot Mulroney!) returned to the show as Johnny Morgan, a man seeking help from a therapist. In their session, he says he needs to curb the urges that he's been having ever since he was little. She assumes that he's just a chronic masturbator, but he soon clears it up that he used to skin dead animals. And then kill animals that were alive. And then kill people. That's when he says that his last name is actually Thredson, and that he's the son of Bloody Face.
This flash-forward reveals a lot, actually. One, Thredson has a child. Not to toot my own horn, but I called that in my recap of "The Origins of Monstrosity." And it's obviously going to be Lana's, because who's else? And that's something we find out, like, five minutes later. The questions that automatically popped into my head following the reveal were: Why does Lana allow the child to have the last name Thredson? If people in the present day know about Bloody Face and they know that Thredson is Bloody Face, that must mean that Thredson is eventually found guilty, right? And Kit gets off free. Or am I just assuming too much at this point?
So, yeah, Lana is preggers with Thredson's demon spawn. As anyone could guess, she was not too pleased with the information and decided to do something about it. Hence the title of the episode. One thing I never expected to see on a TV show was an attempted coat hanger abortion. Not just referenced, but actually shown. That's something that is now seared into my brain. But the "procedure" was unsuccessful, and
Rosemary's Lana's baby lives on.
In other news, following Leigh Emerson/Santa's (Ian McShane) attack on Sister Jude, she finds herself tied up to a patient bed, her head fixed into place and everything. As it turns out, Leigh survived the stab to the throat and told the board or whoever that Sister Jude was the one who slit security guard Frank's throat and not Sister Mary Eunice. Therefore, Jude is now a patient at Briarcliff, something she probably never imagined being. I really enjoy Jude's decent into ... I don't want to say "madness" because she's saner than most of her peers, so let's go with ... aberration. Her level of dishevel is really refreshing to watch since over the season and even last season, Jessica Lange's character was moderately put together for the most part. And coming into the final episodes, Jude is a hot, hot mess, which isn't anything less than fun to watch. For us at least. For Jude? Probably not so much. What's going to be the most fun, however, is having Jude and Lana team up to take down the big bads. Okay, "team up" is probably heavy since Lana pretty much hates Jude, but let's just leave it at that.
Off in his own world, Arden is busy with the aliens after he found their footprints in the tunnels. He comes with the theory that they take bodies when they're near death, or something like that (Honestly, the alien storyline and anything to do with it just goes right over my head). So, Kit agrees to be his little lab rat and Arden brings him near death, and then the aliens come. The bright light shines within a solitary room and Arden opens the door. Inside, we find Pepper (hey!) and a naked, full-term, and living Grace. Like, OK.
I was pretty disappointed with the episode, mostly because I expected something grander to end the year with (new episodes return January 2). I suppose it could have been more exciting if the death we were faced with at the end wasn't the Monsignor's (Joseph Fiennes), because I don't think anyone particularly cares about him, right? He's pretty much the most uninteresting character on the show. Well, 'til next year!
Stray Observations and Quips:
It's kind of hard to believe that Leigh was able to crucify the Monsignor all by himself. Maybe Sister May Eunice gave him a hand,
The introduction of Johnny Thredson felt very Dexter-y. Especially with him having an "urge" to kill and his last name being Morgan at first.
The creepiest moment was Leigh's visit to Jude. That was some great acting on both McShane and Lange's parts, even though it was mostly dialogue-free. Him kissing her on the forehead gave me the willies.
Lana and Kit succeeded in recording Thredson's confession of being Bloody Face, so that's a step in the right direction! But then Sister Mary Eunice had to let him free. Damn you, Mary!
"Come on, goddamnit, gimme a cigarette. I've earned it." - Jude, somehow forgetting who she is and what she's done.
"This is an insane asylum. People hump like bunnies here." - Sister Mary, Eunice classy as always.
"I wanna help you save souls ... all the way to Rome." - Sister Mary Eunice, obviously paving the way for a spin-off.
"American Horror Story: Asylum" airs Wednesdays, 10 p.m. EST on FX.