11/06/2012 10:39 am ET Updated Jan 06, 2013

No-Bama on Your Back

Republican congressional leaders are already mapping out a strategy of continued obstruction to the apparent second term Obama administration. But they are acutely aware that this is not enough. They are about to be shown, again, that they lack the 270 electoral votes to control the executive branch. They failed at courting independents; they need to add another constituency to their ranks.

A 100 watt light bulb lit up over their heads during the campaign when they heard Obama sing impromptu "Let's Stay Together," the R&B song by Al Green. For sure, this was a brilliant interpretation (with a subtle message) by Obama -- they ruminated over his strategy "whether times are good or bad, if we're happy or sad" as being the secret Democratic platform, the quintessence of Obamanism. When they saw how it worked on the electorate, the soothing high notes he hit with his voice just cracking enough to let feel the emotion, to swoon his listeners like a drug; they had a flash of inspiration.

Boehner put forth the opportunity: If Obama was R&B, smooth Al Green, that don't fly with the Hip Hop scene. How many Black youths are there who think R&B is passé, for the establishment? How many White and Brown youths listen to Snoop Dogg nowadays? If we get them on board we'll have the majority.

Boehner and Ryan -- an obvious 2016 presidential candidate -- pulled on T-shirts and some bling and hooked up with 50 Cent to hang with. Ryan has already called a conference of Black Rappers (and Eminem) congratulating them on their Ayn Rand approved stardom won by hard work and connections, without the ability to sing.

He posed a troubling possibility to them, "What would happen to your music industry -- Hip-A-Hop -- if affirmative action policies were enforced by the government? It would destroy your recording business, your empire. What would happen if the government forced you, Snoop Dogg Lion, to team up with Justin Beiber?" A rumble shook over the audience and a few gunshots were fired into the ceiling.

The message: Affirmative Action must be squashed if they are to hold out the wannabes and Justin Beiber. The Reps will help them. The Democrats want to fence them in with welfare and subsidized housing to make them dependent on their party. Wake up. The Reps want to set them free. They want to privatize the housing projects and make corporations out of them. Then they can apply for federal contracts and lobby for Fracking rights to drill for gas under their buildings. Everyone will get rich and there'll be jobs for all. The rap went out "Drill Baby Drill."

This is when Boehner and Ryan took the mics onstage and in alternating lines belted out to a generic gangsta rap beat:


He promised change
So don't it feel strange
You still hangin' on the corner
Waitin' longer and longer

Unemployment ain't no enjoyment
Unemployment ain't no enjoyment
When it's 25 percent
And no income to pay the rent

Obama's so smooth
He think's you're in his pocket
The key to his groove
He put you in a box and locked it

Unemployment ain't no enjoyment
Unemployment ain't no enjoyment

Break out now
We'll show you how
Break out now
We'll show you how

Cut us Reps some slack
Get Obama off your back
We'll show you the way
To get a real payday

Unemployment ain't no enjoyment
Unemployment ain't no enjoyment

They signed a contract for the MTV video featuring Capitol Hill interns, out of their suits and dresses and into P-Diddy fashion, rapping on street corners in Anacostia, a depressed inner city neighborhood so close, they simply walked the few blocks from the Capitol to get there.