06/29/2009 05:12 am ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

North Korea Fires Another Missile No One Cares About

YEONPYEONG, South Korea - North Korea test-fired another missile Friday, but couldn't get anyone in the U.S. government to get upset, make a speech or even call it a "crisis."

"What the hell is this?" said North Korean President Kim Jong-Il. "The Cuban Missile Crisis generated fear, books, movies and Bob Dylan songs. We don't even get the same coverage as Jon and Kate."

Military analysts say the weapon is a new type of ground-to-air missile that has a range of up to 160 miles, but is unable to penetrate Western media.


North Korea claimed that the U.S. has plans to launch a pre-emptive strike to overthrow its communist government, to which the U.S. replied, "Yeah, right," before losing interest and doing something else.

Talks at the U.N. Security Council over possible sanctions were moving slowly. "That's because we don't give five shits," said a member. "We're working on everything from terrorism to global warming. Kim Jong-Il's cries for attention are as out-of-date as his Roy Orbison hair and John Denver glasses."

China's reaction was strongest, as, for the first time ever, it strongly, forcefully, pulled some crabbing boats out of the area.

The latest missile was the sixth since Monday's nuclear test, but despite North Korea's best intentions, it might have to be its last, for a while.

"We're not made of missiles," said Kim Jong-Il. "There's only so much sabre-rattling we can do. Can't we get mentioned somewhere? Since when are nuclear weapons not on the same radar as Susan Boyle? Any more of this treatment and we're not firing anything."

Graphic: Rick Majestic, for