03/19/2012 06:33 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

Am I Failing as a Dad?

I am not always proud of the parent that I am.
Sometimes I just wish I could erase huge blocks of time from my life. I don't want to remember the half hour screaming matches or the times I wish my kids were not around. They can be tough to deal with sometimes. Being a parent isn't always peaches and rose petals, but it seems too much of the time is spent in arguments over clothes or what shoes to wear. It seems lately that I am remembering too many of those moments and if I am, what are the kids thinking.
I don't want them to think that I am some monster.
They really are the best kids.
The frustration boils over sometimes and when it comes out, it comes out. Normally if you get mad or frustrated with something you have an avenue to calm yourself down, but when it's just you and one of your kids, what are you supposed to do?
I yell, and I yell way too much.
I just can't think of anything else to do and I know that this is not the best course of action because it's only going to make the situation worse. Picture a 4-year-old who can't make up his mind over what shirt to wear, he's frustrated and angry already, and then throw in a parent screaming at the top of his lungs. If I was 4 years old I surely wouldn't like it and I would probably scream and cry a little louder. That in turn makes me scream a little louder, which makes everything that much worse.
I would never do anything to harm these kids, but it frustrates me to no end when situations just spiral out of control. How DO you control yourself when you have a kid crying hysterically and the only thing you want him to do is to stop?
They are great kids 99% of the time, but too often I'm remembering that other 1%.
I am constantly learning how to be a better parent, but sometimes it seems like I am failing the class.

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