The post-Roger Ebert era likely will be less enjoyable and snappy, but we've got to try. Take our quiz and find out how much you know about the week's news.
Here are some random but real hints: Michelle was presumably unamused; that's assuming their missiles can even get that high; no critics, either; and maybe he invented unpleasantness, too. Answers are at the bottom of the quiz.
1. President Obama's budget, to be released next week, will do what?
a. Cut Social Security and other benefit programs
b. Increase Social Security and Medicare spending by 20 percent
c. Fund a new naval force to patrol the North Korean coast
d. Take a "peace dividend" from ending the Afghan war and spend it on health care
2. How many non-farm jobs did U.S. employers add in March?
a. None; there were 100,000 jobs lost
3. A federal judge ruled that what products should not have age requirements for customers?
a. Violent video games
b. R-rated movies
c. Assault rifles
d. The Plan B "morning after" pill
4. Who called California Attorney General Kamala Harris "by far the best-looking attorney general in the country"?
a. San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee
b. Former Governor Arnold Schawrzenegger
c. Governor Jerry Brown
d. President Obama
5. What is the Terminal High Altitude Area Defense System?
a. The TSA's new airport protection plan
b. The U.S. missile defense system being sent to Guam in response to North Korean saber rattling
c. The new U.S.-funded Alpine defense system being installed to stop the flow of drug traffickers into northern Europe
d. A form of "enhanced interrogation"
6. What university fired its men's basketball coach after a video aired showing the coach insulting and shoving his players?
a. Duke University
b. University of Wisconsin
c. Rutgers University
d. Indiana University
7. What did televangelist Pat Robertson identify as a culprit for a lack of miracles in America?
b. Roman Catholicism
c. The teaching of evolution
d. Loose morals on TV
8. Which one of the following statements was not made by the late movie critic Roger Ebert?
a. "Was there no one connected with this project who read the screenplay, considered the story, evaluated the proposed film and vomited?"
b. "I hated this movie. Hated, hated, hated, hated, hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it."
c. "This is the perfect movie to have been released in 1800. When there were no projectors."
d. To Rob Schneider: "Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks."
9. Who pledged to give up 5 percent of his salary to show support for furloughed government employees?
a. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi
b. President Obama
c. Fox News host Bill O'Reilly
d. Businessman Donald Trump
10. Journalist Bob Woodward recalled another "unpleasant" conversation with a politician. Who made him unhappy at dinner?
a. Former Vice President Al Gore
b. President Barack Obama
c. Former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton
d. Businessman Donald Trump
BONUS. What's up with Justin Bieber's monkey?
a. The monkey dances on stage during his concerts, perfectly mimicking the singer's movements
b. German customs confiscated his monkey because he lacked permits
c. The monkey's inappropriate behavior caused Bieber to be banned from Disneyworld as the result of an unfortunate incident during his recent visit there
d. The monkey caused an official diplomatic protest from Russian authorities after it was dressed up as Vladimir Putin for Bieber's latest video, "Rock and Rocket"
The news and the quizzes don't stop there! Join us for our live Week to Week political commentary programs with a news quiz at The Commonwealth Club; see the Week to Week website for event dates, audio, and more.
ANSWERS: 1) a. 2) b. 3) d. 4) d. 5) b. 6) c. 7) c. 8) c. 9) b. 10) a. BONUS) b.
EXPLANATIONS OF THE HINTS: Just an assumption that the president shouldn't be gushing over the looks of anyone who's not his wife; North Korea has a history of having aspirations that are higher than its missiles are able to actually fly; to my knowledge, Ebert has never discoursed on the film scene in the year AD 1800; and Woodward, who had earlier complained about his treatment by a current White House advisor, told students that Gore, a former journalist himself, seemed to act in their dinnertime discussion as though he thought he invented journalism.