How to Make a Chickenhawk

Thanksgiving is a tough time of year for me, since I got back from Iraq. Actually, every holiday where we're supposed to give thanks and celebrate has been tough. My mind always goes back to those who didn't make it home, came come injured (physical or mental), and those still over there. For them, it's kind of tough to be thankful.

It's a feeling that so many in public service and the media will never understand. Hell, some of them did everything they could do NOT understand. And, yet, they have no problem going on TV and Radio and call veterans like me "defeatists" or "phony soldiers," and talk about how this is a necessary sacrifice we need to make.

So, when Arianna wrote to me and asked that I write something with a Thanksgiving theme, and that Nora Ephron posts some of her favorite recipes, I thought I'd post one of my own. Now, I'm no Emeril Lagasse, but when I thought of what bird I'd like to roast this Thanksgiving, I could think of none better than.... a chickenhawk.


· 1 whole chicken

· Handful of juniper berries (to represent the berries on Rush Limbaugh's butt that 'kept him' from serving in Vietnam)

· A can of "au jus" (to represent France -- where Mitt Romney fled to avoid the draft)

· Mustard, Relish, Onions, Tomato (all the toppings of a Chicago hot-dog, which Richard Perle ate plenty of when he got out of Vietnam by attending the University of Chicago)

· Crisco (to represent the weight that Fred Kagan will drop when he heads to basic training once he decides it's actually worth personally fighting this war)

· Three Pinches of Rosehip (for Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, and Elizabeth Hasselbeck who all are apparently too delicate to sacrifice for America)

Rub all the ingredients on the chicken, and sprinkle with powdered sugar to represent George Bush's disappearance from the Texas Air National Guard, when he apparently had a problem with.... well, you know. Then, let it sit and find "other priorities," like Dick Cheney said he had when the nation needed him to fight in Vietnam.

The result is one of the most putrid birds you'll ever see in your life. The only way to combat the bad taste is by blasting heat at it with ads like this, this, and this.

In all seriousness, though, best wishes to you and your families for a healthy, happy Thanksgiving, on behalf of