03/31/2008 05:06 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

Hillary Clinton's Special Op in Tuzla

The corkscrew descent made everybody's stomachs churn as the C-130 transport plane seemed to fall from the sky. The flak and hot metal pounding the wings and fuselage sounded like popcorn popping and quickly reached an ear-splitting crescendo. Two of the plane's engines were hit and coughed their final sighs before shutting down. A minute later, a powerful jolt let everybody know they had finally hit the tarmac and a brief feeling of relief swept the occupants. Although weapons and gear were thrown around, the aircraft was apparently in tact and everybody was still alive. Hillary Clinton began barking out orders: "Okay, I want to secure this LZ in under 2 minutes, Comprendo?" she shouted in a firm and even tone. "Sinbad -- grab one of those RPGs and take point about 20 yards north-northeast! Chelsea -- take that .50 cal about 20 yards to the northwest and start laying down cover fire! I'll hold up the southern flank." Hillary then turned to General Nash who was still strapped in his chair: "You better not leave our asses hanging out there General! I want cover fire! Don't fuck this up or I'll have your ass dipped in marmalade!" The droning of the sputtering engines and intense gunfire almost drowned out Hillary's commands. "I don't want any zips in the wire General!" she screamed. And then she turned to the other terrified soldiers in the plane and said: "Just do your fucking jobs people and everybody's gonna make it outta here!"

The tarmac at the airport in Tulza was always a hot spot. Control of the facility shifted from Serbs at night to Bosnians during the day. The last time Hillary had landed there she had to snap a Serb attacker's neck using a scissor lock with her legs before dashing for cover in a waiting APC. Thirteen good people got corked that day. She was determined to be more careful this time around.

The cargo door threw open and like clockwork Hillary was the first one out. Sinbad, a comedian, could always be counted on to reduce the tension with a quip during a crisis; call it grace under pressure. "I can't wait for lunch!" he said laconically. Hillary didn't hear him, she was already out the door; Chelsea just flashed Sinbad a knowing half smile.

Hillary could hear the sniper bullets whizzing past her ears as she kept moving. She lunged forward dodging fire with a full somersault and then leapt up onto the hood of an empty Jeep parked on the tarmac. She opened up on the Serb position unloading the clip of her well-oiled M-16. She tossed the weapon, jumped off the Jeep, and tossed three hand grenades in quick succession in the direction of a Serb machine-gunner nested behind two empty tanker trucks. No one else had even seen the Serb position.

Chelsea opened up with the .50 cal and split two Serb soldiers in half, their intestines exposed as the warm thick blood pooled up on the cold cement. Just then Sinbad fired off his RPG but it was too late, a second Serb machine gunner had already got off a punishing round that holed up the remaining U.S. soldiers on the plane. "We're gonna to have to get this job done without cover fire!" Hillary yelled to Sinbad and Chelsea. "Roger that!" Sinbad replied and then he leapt up on a piece of refueling equipment and opened up once again with his RPG, this time though he scored a direct hit and the three of them could see the limbs and blood and organs scattered across the tarmac. "Well done!" Hillary yelled. "Cover me!" She dashed over to where Chelsea was still firing her .50 cal. "Feed me! Feed me!" Chelsea screamed in the confusion. The First Lady plopped down on her belly and began slipping the chain of bullets into the hot machine gun. "I bet you never thought that being the First Daughter would lead you to this did you?" she said amidst the chaos. Chelsea just shook her head and kept up a galling automatic weapons fire. They could hear the anguished screams of wounded Serb soldiers who were unfortunate enough to find themselves on the receiving end.

Hillary then motioned with both arms waving to her comrades: "Com'on! Get into this Chinook goddamn it! Get in!" The giant lumbering helicopter slowly lifted up as Sinbad manned the M-60 and split the ground open in front of a phalanx of Serbian troops. "Let's get this bird outta here! Now! Mark your heading to Camp Alicia!" Hillary barked. Chelsea was almost left behind and was still trying to board, clinging for life to the landing skis, her AK-47 snapping back and forth on her shoulder, as the Chinook took off. The helicopter veered northward and headed out of the killing zone. Snipers opened up on them but luckily no one was hit.