01/28/2008 04:39 pm ET Updated May 25, 2011

President Clinton: The Sequel

With President Clinton in the White House again we can relive a time when Kurt Cobain, River Phoenix, and JonBenet Ramsey walked the earth. We could demand that our movie houses light up with sequels to Pulp Fiction and Titanic. And I bet we can hire O.J. Simpson for another slow speed chase to dazzle us on live television.

Our TVs could once again sparkle with Seinfeld, (the one when Jerry whines is so funny), and The X Files and Melrose Place, and we can ogle that '90s female character who single-handedly vanquished Second Wave feminism on the cover of Time magazine: Ally McBeal.

We could gnaw on McDonald's "Arch Deluxes" and wash them down with Crystal Pepsi.

We had more interesting villains in the 1990s: the Branch Davidians, Columbine, the "Unabomber," Timothy McVeigh, the "Contract with America."

With the Clintons back in power we could run our Windows 95 operating systems and camp out at Lollapalooza. Michael Jordan, Pearl Jam, Cindy Crawford, Gennifer Flowers, and Janet Reno could all make comebacks. And teenage anarchists can tear apart Seattle again.

Voters can make a deal with the Hillary Clinton campaign: We'll vote for Hillary Clinton only if the cast of Friends agrees to have a reunion episode. If we see Chandler and Monica and Rachel and Ross again only then can we build that bridge back to the 1990s.