08/29/2005 05:38 am ET Updated May 25, 2011


Pat Robertson’s genius isn’t just single-handedly rehabilitating early Christianity’s little known “Just-Assassination” theology. He’s also the first to identify the newest threat of militant Islam and Communism joining forces! Just in time, too, because who knew such a sinister ideological Voltron was preparing to bring down it’s blazing sword upon our hemisphere from it’s secret Venezuelan “launching pad?” Robertson is well known for his geopolitical insights, and as usual, this one makes perfect sense: Communism is bigger than ever — and has always fit hand-in-glove with religious fundamentalism! It’s hard to tell whether Robertson’s Islamo-Communism riff was planned, or just a brilliant flash of some right wing word jazz — a little 700 Club ad libbing for the cameras. Usually, you can tell from the deep squint when the Rev is locked in a profound jam session with G-d, laying down prayer licks and hoping He comes back with some sweet answers. This time, Robertson’s eyes were wide open, but the Lord was apparently quite clear: Chavez should be sleeping with the Jesus fishes.

(P.s. And on the ICHTHUS note, I think this just about sums up all our problems.)