08/19/2014 03:22 pm ET Updated Dec 06, 2017

A Seasoned Woman's Secret for Finding True Love


Falling Madly In Love With You!

"Youth is wasted on the young," so they say. But I knew that didn't have to be, and I was determined to prove it wrong. As a little girl, I had undefinable aspirations. When a grown-up would bend down and sweetly ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I'd say with a big smile on my face, "I don't know, but I know I am going to do something special!" I didn't know what, but I innately knew that my education to do something special wasn't going to come from kids my age or even textbooks, but from seasoned enthusiasts of the University of Life.

I always thought my parents had the coolest, most interesting friends, who had enormous respect for themselves and others. Whenever I was lucky enough to get access to this esteemed group, I would try to melt into the background not to be noticed, so I could look and listen for precious pearls of insights to drop into my formative mind. Like the mouse that stole the cheese, I would sneak away to savor each and every morsel, trying my best many times and many years over, to incorporate the paramount attributes into my being. For sure, these gems embellished my proverbial crown, but the shiny platinum setting came thanks to my incredible parents, especially my mom, Ketsy.

Ketsy, which loosely means "cute little kitten," wasn't a Betty Crocker or Leave It to Beaver kind of mom. She was an exquisite beauty with a quick mind, who knew how to create a welcoming home and master an assortment of dishes for entertaining and for the family at our sacred Friday family dinners. But it was her zest for life, and the way she brilliantly managed to create her own world according to her rules, that was most admirable. Albeit, the day she vulnerably shared her heartbreak story to help me get past my personal saga, was the day she truly became my role-model and changed my life forever.

Tenderly holding my hand she began, "When I was about your age, I went to a glamorous party in Manhattan, where I met this very handsome photographer. He 'fell in love with my smile' and on the spot, hired me to be The Face for a series of ads. It should have been the most exciting time of my life, but it was marred by my obsession wanting him to love me as well. I was crushed when he threw me over for the next 'It Girl.'

One day, my adored older friend Sonia, came home from work and found me crying on her front steps. "What's wrong?" she wanted to know. Through my sobs she managed to decipher my heart had been broken, I felt rejected and unlovable. With sympathy in her eyes, she sat down next me and began.

"Ketsy, I want to play a game with you, so indulge me, OK?" She continued.

I weakly nodded yes.

"To begin," she said, "you must willingly surrender any assumptions and conclusions as to what you believe is so and what isn't."

I tearfully nodded ok.

"Next, allow your logical mind to slow down long enough to cross over into the world of imagination. Fearlessly run past all the reality checks and mental obstacles, while ignoring the voice saying, "Sonia has officially gone crazy!"

A quivering smile curled my lips at her perception.

"Now close your eyes and focus on the perfect love. Listen for the heartfelt apology for taking so long to finally get to you. Note the compassion you feel for all the difficulties that had to be overcome, mistakes to rise above, and the never-ending efforts on things to be improved. Feel the acceptance and admiration of a beautiful smile, loving nature, unique qualities and attributes. Delight in the acknowledgment and appreciation of a perfect body and way of being. Observe the feelings of peace and deep satisfaction in being fully seen, completely loved, finally safe and secure."

So, I closed my eyes, took three deep big breaths and slowly began the journey from here to there. After a while, I opened my eyes and nodded my head, yes. Yes, I felt the presence of love. She gave me a big smile and continued.

"And finally the last and most important step, that if followed, I promise will bring you a true love. Take all those feelings of love and acceptance and give them to the person who deserves them the most -- YOU! From this moment forth, make you the great love of your life. Saturate the essence of you with sensations of joy, passion, enthusiasm and pure delight! Treat you like the most important person in the world by giving you all the things you are always looking from someone else; all the symbolic proof that you are loved."

She continued, "Buy fresh flowers to wake-up to everyday. Spoil yourself with your favorite fruits, wines and all the best ingredients for a delicious table set dinner, and then savor every bite. The love songs you listen to? Sing them to you! Most importantly, start to talk to yourself as you would to someone you love.

Once you truly love yourself for the amazing one-of-a-kind work of art you are, the radiance flowing out of you will beam 'Scotty' right to ya! Accept that you can't change the past, but you can change how you perceive it. Figure out whether you are going to love yourself today as is, or hate yourself forever more, the choice is yours!"

This amazing woman, who gave me life, shared her secret for being one of the happiest and most beautiful women in the world; absolute self-confidence derived from being madly in love with you! Her irresistible glow and magnetic personality came from loving, honoring and respectfully taking care of herself and well-being as a child of God. What a gift to give a daughter -- what a gift to give to yourself.

** Excerpted from LIFE~LUST & LOVE: A Seasoned Woman's Secrets from Ordinary to Extraordinary! (Debuting in the Fall-2014)