OMG, did you hear the terrible, horrible Earth-shattering news? No, no not Iran launching nuclear warheads or deadly floods in the Philippines, but something far, far worse: Barack Hussein Obama has won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize!
On this darkest of days, the day the Earth stood still, Barack Hussein Obama won the peace prize and Republicans lost their minds (or what little bit remained) all because the dreadful Nobel commission had the audacity to honor an American President for wanting to do something other than bomb the hell out of poor, oil-rich Muslim countries.
"Only very rarely has a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future," the Nobel Committee said, adding that the decision was "unanimous and came with ease." Ha, like they know anything.
Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.) explains that the award is a "recognition of President Obama's work to strengthen international cooperation. It validates the president's approach to tough trans-national challenges such as global warming and the spread of nuclear arms. And it celebrates his steady efforts to improve America's standing around the world."
Or in the words of one State Department spokesman, "Gives us a sense of momentum when the United States has accolades tossed its way rather than shoes."
At least the Republicans know it's never a good idea to honor the leader of the free world for his efforts to solve complex global problems, like working toward a world free of nuclear weapons and giving people hope for a better future.
Well it just doesn't get any worse than this (except of course if America had actually succeeded in bringing the Olympics home) because having the world suddenly respect us is just too big a burden to bear--and the Republicans for one, want nothing to do with such things. They're much more comfortable when the world burns effigies of their leaders not honors them with coveted international awards.
"The Republican Party has thrown in its lot with the terrorists - the Taliban and Hamas this morning - in criticizing the President for receiving the Nobel Peace prize," DNC Communications Director Brad Woodhouse said in a statement.
Republicans cheered when America failed to land the Olympics and now they are criticizing the President of the United States for receiving the Nobel Peace prize - an award he did not seek but that is nonetheless an honor in which every American can take great pride - unless of course you are the Republican Party. The 2009 version of the Republican Party has no boundaries, has no shame and has proved that they will put politics above patriotism at every turn. It's no wonder only 20 percent of Americans admit to being Republicans anymore - it's an embarrassing label to claim.
Almost as embarrassing as being an American the world actually respects. **Shudder.**