THE BLOG
09/25/2014 05:16 pm ET Updated Nov 25, 2014

6 Ways to Stop Being an Angry Black Woman

Are you tired of being an "angry black woman?" So am I. It seems like whenever I express or defend myself, society perceives me as intimidating or angry. Thanks to a recent New York Times article, I learned what makes a black woman appear angry. All this time I thought I was just being a regular person with regular emotions. Turns out, black women are to be extra cautious of our actions and behavior.

Check out the six easy ways to avoid becoming an angry black woman.

6. Always smile. That's right ladies. Take the advice from that creepy old guy who undresses you with his eyes as you walk down the street. "Smile baby!" You must never forget that the shade of your skin identifies you as an aggressor. You must assure the environment around you that you come in peace. Smile no matter what! It doesn't matter what kind of day you are having, you must appease the world.

5. Shut up! The problem with us angry black women is that we never know when to shut up. We always have to voice our opinion or speak our minds. Why not speak in a more quiet or timid voice? Being out-spoken is the same as being a threat. Be nice and zip it girl! :-x

4. Be passive. One surefire way to become a "pleasant black woman" instead of the awful "angry" one is to be submissive, especially at the work place. In most industries, black women are among the minority -- which means you are inferior, duh! Since you are one of the few, you must understand that you are probably under serious surveillance so try not to step on any toes! Some white co-workers won't appreciate you going for that big promotion and male colleagues may not feel comfortable with you in an authoritative position. You don't want to end up like "a powerful, intimidating black woman," do you? Calm down! Stop being so aggressive.

3. Have no reaction... to anything! So what if someone insulted you? So what if someone made a racially or sexually insensitive remark towards you? So what if your man cheated on you? They probably didn't "even mean it that way," silly. No need to get all sensitive about it. Even if you feel offended, being defensive won't stop you from becoming that ABW, now will it?

2. Always be aware that you are black. Don't ever get too comfortable in your own skin -- especially if you hold a prestigious title. Look at Olivia Pope, television's angriest black woman, running around Washington, D.C. with so much political and personal drama without ever noticing her own blackness. Remember your supposed place and accept that you are not classically worthy (or beautiful) enough to just simply be a regular human being. Keep yourself in check, girl!

1. Them first, you last. This is the most important and effective way to avoid Angry Black Woman-ness. The ridiculous idea of respecting yourself first before considering the expectation of others will be your greatest downfall. New York Times journalist Alessandra Stanley knows black women best. Even though no one else perceived powerful black female characters on television as angry, Stanley discovered the issue and brought it to our attention. Angry black women are people who are unapologetically secure, successful and confident despite the color of their skin. How rebellious! Wait, is the angry black woman really just a white man?

This post first appeared on KazzleDazz.com.