03/28/2013 11:24 am ET Updated May 28, 2013

9 Tips for Couples Who Want to Be Rooted in Love

1. Saying less and listening more often gets you more of what you most desire out of the relationship.

2. Do not interrupt, especially when you most want to.

3. First, respond to your beloved's question. Answer it directly, kindly, without preface, qualifiers, or countering questions.

4. Looking directly and warmly, rather negatively or away, often brings out the part of your beloved that you most enjoy.

5. Making and keeping an agreement helps your beloved feel more secure, respected and cared for in the relationship.

6. Look to the their positive intent as you listen, even and especially when their intent does not appear to be positive in the heat of the moment.

7. Act in a different and positive way that most matters to your beloved before you ask for a specific change.

8. Just as smiling makes you both feel happier, showing appreciation and warmth -- especially when you least feel it and your beloved most needs it -- will bring you closer than asking for warmth from your beloved.

9. It is harder to argue when you are holding hands.

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