04/09/2014 11:22 pm ET Updated Jun 09, 2014

The Americans 'Arpanet' Recap: Sex, Lies, and More Lies

Note: Do not read on if you have not seen Season 2, Episode 6 of FX's The Americans, titled "Arpanet."

Wig count: 3. Once again, Philip wins this contest. He and Charles Duluth are working together to 'bug the Arpanet,' though almost no one knows what means. Disguised as a journalist, he gets someone who knows to explain it to him. The result is a glorious explanation of the interwebs involving Japan, god, and virtual highways. In the end, they complete their mission, but not before Philip has to murder someone. Charles is a little too glib afterward and Philip scolds him, but he's scolding himself. Philip doesn't want to wear pointy fake mustaches and kill. He just wants a Camaro.

Best one-liner: 'Squeeze your anus before you answer the question!' Oleg prepares Nina for her polygraph with Stan. Apparently, squeezing your butt helps you pass. It's a strangely suspenseful scene. We know she's lying, she calls out Stan for Vlad's murder, and she even starts to sweat a little. She does pass and now Stan thinks they are going to live happily ever after. But Nina and Oleg are doing it, too. I have no idea where they are going with the love/traitor triangle and I love it.

Lessons Learned: Trust no one, because everyone has personal missions. Henry is spying on the neighbors and breaking into their houses to eat apples and play Atari. He and Paige have some serious baggage. Lucia's was planning on killing Larrick, but he's off to Nicaruaga, so her and Elizabeth's mission is put on the back burner. Lucia is basically Elizabeth's mini-me, from her ponytail to her burning sense of duty and need for revenge. And who knows what Larrick is really thinking or when he's going to snap.

In terms of nerding out over '80s technology and Philip brooding over Duluth's vodka and cranberry, this was a decent episode. But there are some major follow up questions I want to ask. How's Sandra Beeman and is she in a cult? What's Martha up to? When did Oleg and Nina find chemistry? What is wrong with Henry? Are Philip and the new handler going to get it on?

Share your theories with me in the comments or tweet me @karenfratti.

"The Americans" airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. ET on FX.