06/24/2013 01:06 am ET Updated Aug 23, 2013

'True Blood' Recap: It's War!


Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen the Season 6, Episode 2 on HBO's "True Blood," titled "The Sun."

As Arlene might say, I would be a G.D. fool if I didn't start off by atoning for my sins: I was so caught up in the thrill of Billith and getting to see Alcide with his shirt off again that I totally jumped to conclusions and forgot that we knew, or you knew, judging by your comments, that the old man in the station wagon wasn't Warlow. It's Sookie and Jason's fairy grampa! Duh!

In my defense, no one in Bon Temps knows what's going on these days. Sort of like a twilight zone version of the "Downton Abbey" family when the "Titanic" sinks, the "True Blood" way of life as we know it is about to change. The vampires versus human tension that's been festering all of this time has finally come to a head and everyone's going to come out different.

Things We Do Know
Bill can see the future. And might be god, or some version of him. After a heart-to-heart with Lillith, who's actually quite pretty without blood all over her, in a supernatural no-man's-land, he wakes from his coma a new man. Jason joked last week that he was like an evil Superman, and he kind of is. He will be on a one-man mission to save all vampires in the coming war; the fun part will be waiting to see if he can change the future and prevent the vamps from ending up in that scary white room and burning en masse.

I assume this means he will want to reach out to Eric, who's on the case because he knows that a) the government has crazy silver bullets that emit UV light and can burn a vamp from the inside and b) that humans can wear contacts to prevent being glamoured. They've basically ruined all of the fun, and until that Tru Blood plant opens up, Pam has to drink sorry looking cafeteria milk. However, the government didn't know that vampires can fly, as they mention when Eric flees the governor's mansion, which makes me wonder about austerity cuts in general. In any case, I hope we get to watch Eric and Bill team up with their respective ladies.

Also, since I apparently sleep through the good stuff: Did we know about Human Edibles before? Because that was the sickest feeding scene we've witnessed in a long while.

I think Jason might be my favorite character of all time. He brings gramps back to the house with that classic go-getter attitude and we finally get the whole story about Warlow and what Sookie can do to stop him. As much as I love Jason, I've always had a love-hate relationship towards Sookie. First, she sleeps through work, yet again, and finds a rather attractive half fairy by the side of the road. Is he good or bad or a trick, you think? I feel like Warlow had his way with him when he came through the portal on the bridge, or maybe he is Warlow in fairy's clothing, but I tend to speculate too much and didn't read the books so school me in the comments.

Sookie wanted to go back to the innocent days, and she just might get her wish. Not only can she still leave Arlene in the weeds at the diner, but she now has a super nova fairy light to use and once she uses it to fight Warlow she will no longer be fairy or have to listen to anyone's thoughts again. That's all she's ever wanted, apart from true human love.

Things I Wish We Didn't Have to Know
A group of college-ish kids from Los Angeles comes to town and along with organic produce, they want Sam and all shifters to #OccupyBonTemps, or at least come out and fight the power, as the vampire war rages on. I love how this show can play around and be, if you want to get literary about it, an allegory for our own social and political conflicts (see: gun laws, gay marriage, and foreign policy). But this feels too literal to me and sort of boring. So be it. Alcide and the wolves fight and win custody of Emma by kidnapping her. And Lafayette's days of being the best babysitter ever are over. Meanwhile, the L.A. kids are filming it.

Also, please, in the name of Lilith, can we agree that we do not want Patrick's wife to stir the pot about his death? What purpose has this sub-plot ever served except as an excuse to refill your drink in the kitchen? His wife showed up at Merlotte's and Terry was about to atone for his own G.D. sins before Arlene jumped in to send her packing. Let's cross our fingers it stays this way because Arlene has too many tables to cover what with Sookie sleeping through her shifts again and Andy doesn't know how to care for fairy babies.

To sum it up: new loves, new world order, and lots of spaghetti. Pass the cheese, son, this is going to be quite the ride.

"True Blood" airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on HBO.

"True Blood"