03/22/2012 03:40 pm ET Updated May 22, 2012

Never Had It -- How Can I Imagine It?

Recently I had a question come across my desk stating that "the law of attraction suggests that I should put myself into the feeling of having what I desire -- that is, a loving and supporting relationship (for me at this moment). But I never had that. How can I imagine it? I don't know how it feels."

Fabulous question!!

It's true! When we're asking for something that seems to be completely foreign to us, it IS hard to imagine what it would feel like. The great news is that there are plenty of ways, at least in this case, to connect with the feeling.

If you have people, friends or acquaintances around you that are in loving and supporting relationships -- spend some time around them to get a feeling of what that feels like. Be curious and pay attention to how they speak to each other, how they act around each other.

Often, what happens is that when we see something we don't have -- we've somehow learned to go into the state of feeling badly that we don't have it when we witness it. Instead, celebrate the person who has created that in their life.

When we go into that feeling bad state, often the reason is because we're focusing on the lack of it showing up in our life. I don't know about you, but anytime I focus on lack, I feel LOUSY! Years ago, I used to feel that way when I would see the lottery was won by someone else. I'd feel sad and come up with reasons they shouldn't have won it. (I know, I know... terribly un-spiritual!) and then I'd mope about. Do you think that is the kind of energy that's going to attract anything good? Yeah, probably not!

Now, I get super-excited and shift into what it would be like to win and experience the happiness the winners are feeling. Totally different feeling and totally different results!

Here's another option -- watch shows or movies that have loving and supportive relationships characterized. What popped to my mind immediately was The Cosby Show -- it was a great example of what loving relationships can be like. Now, if you find yourself thinking, "That only happens in the movies..." Ta-dah! There's your limitation!! Those kinds of relationships are totally possible.

Allow yourself to feel their kindness. Allow yourself to feel their respect for each other. Notice if any part of you is feeling like this can't happen for you. If that pops up, you want to move into asking a question. The question is "What would it take to have this kind of relationship?" Or you could ask "Who could show up in my life that would treat me like that?" Now start watching for what shows up. Start watching for who shows up.

Make sure you're not trying to figure out what it would take and who could show up, that's actually not for you to figure out. You're asking the questions so you can receive that information -- so you can receive those clues. You're asking the questions so your subconscious mind can start peeling through all the information it gets so it can find evidence for you. Evidence that will take you in the direction of the relationship you want.

It starts with shifting your focus. Let your inner brilliance shine. Let your life grow and attract more of what you want! It starts with making a choice.

These are just some ways to start, if you want more, check out my complimentary online videos at Attract More

For more by Karen Luniw, click here.

For more on mindfulness, click here.